‘With fingers, toys, and tongues hard at work, these ladies will always succumb to the sins of lesbians,’ it says right here. Always, my friends.

Who would do such a thing if he didn’t want to be congratulated for it?

If Meg Whitman can find a way to make money from porn on the Internet, I think we should vote for her. And Steve Poizner can get the hookers.

For some reason things didn’t seem shocking to me until I saw an Obama stand-in back in late October. I quickly desensitized myself, but this week was shocked anew to receive these pictures of Raquel Devine in Stoney Curtis’ “Fuck My Mom and Me #9.”

What appears to have been a bomb destroyed the vehicle of Brian Welsh, political advisor to Stormy Daniels, in New Orleans Monday. Daniels, whom I have endorsed in her potential Louisiana Senate run against Republican incumbent David Vitter, was having sex with Tony DeSergio on the set of “Sex, Lies, And Spies” 2,000 miles west [...]

Following weeks of private reflection and prayer, I heartily endorse Mrs. Stormy Daniels as the next junior Senator from the Great State of Louisiana. “I will be taking a big pay cut,” said Daniels of the $170k per annum job, showing the plucky American confidence that emphasizes national service over personal gain. She also showed [...]

Hint: Think Milves. As America’s Beloved Porn JournalistTM, I am often asked how Barack Obama’s administration will deal with the adult industry. And I reply with a catchphrase that has endeared me to millions of readers: “I don’t know. How could I know? Am I paid to know? If so, where is my check?” It [...]

Erection 2008, the venture capital-funded Sarah Palin/Barack Obama porn spoof I watched being filmed last week, is available in DVD form “for a limited time” at the rock-bottom shipping and handling price of $4.99, just enough to stimulate your package. In other news, Hustler has found its own Obama in performer Guy DeSilva and is [...]

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: McCain to take the world in love embrace at Sturgis rally

I get a lot of requests to write something – anything – about Lexi Belle, who is from “the South” and Cute As Hell. “The reason I got into porn was to totally enhance my college experience,” she says in director Andre Madness’ Real College Girls 16, a movie that incorporates interviews into sex scenes. [...]

Destin Gerek, a San Francisco-based Certified Somatic Sexologist and self-proclaimed “Erotic Rockstar”* is raising awareness and erectile tissue for his presidential contender of choice by spearheading O’s for Obama, a series of live and web-streamed events. “If you care about the future of this country and this planet you won’t want to miss this,” said [...]

Details magazine thoughtfully provided a list of ten women in politics who it thought were hotter than Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin. Clockwise from right we see Palin’s recent Vogue cover, then Carey Torrice, commissioner of Macomb County, Michigan (I think Ms. Torrice looks like Hillary Scott), South Dakota congresswoman Stephanie Herseth Sandlin, and Mary [...]

I realized Friday’s post about faked miscarriages should be called Happy (False) Labor Day, but we all need to move on in light of this weekend’s odd news about that free-thinking Palin family of Alaska. Kudos to John McCain for so carefully vetting his choice of vice president. He deftly evoked historical V.P. choices like [...]

John McCain, Republican candidate for President, will open up for Kid Rock tonight in Sturgis, South Dakota, as part of its annual motorcycle rally. “All we represent to them, Man, is somebody needs haircuts,” McCain will not tell revelers at the Black Hills two-wheeled debauch-a-thon, not adding, “I like smoke and lightning – heavy metal [...]