Porn Valley To Rebrand Without Popshots, Gaping
The Porno Industrial Complex cuts its losses to blow wad on CFCM niche.
satire
Ponante Tapped To Lens Scientology Porn Epic
“We need to cast the perfect Xenude,” says Engram Ponante
Shutdown Shutters Government Fellatio Dog Program
In addition to closing National Park Service sites and furloughing federal employees, the government shutdown that went into effect this morning has closed the Fellatio Dog Program, which congressional Republicans call “the Blowjob Entitlement.”
Diamond Kitty Meets Boo Radley in “To Kill A Mockingbird XXX”
Porn Valley is buzzing about its latest job-creating, money-making, creatively worthwhile, and altogether useful parody “To Kill A Mockingbird XXX,” starring Rob Black as Atticus, […]
Adult Industry Moves to Maine Instead
“Some of these apple-picking girls fuck like the Wendigo is after them,” says Allie Haze. “They’re not scared of death.”
Historians weigh in on “True History of She-Male Cock”
“It stands to reason that if there is a movie called ‘The True History of She-Male Cock’ that there have been false histories,” says historian Doris Kearns Goodwin
Rocco Siffredi will squeeze your breasts painfully if you don’t wear a hat
“It says that the only way to keep Interstellar Beings from entering our skulls is to wear hats if you are female or sunglasses if you are male,” Siffredi said. “And you see, I have already purchased sunglasses.”
AVN: North Korean rocket launch “provocative,” “strokeable”
“It’s not going to change anyone’s life, but (North Korea’s space program) is solid, (and) strokeable,” Ochs says.
Porn world shelves “This Ain’t The Innocence of Muslims XXX”
“We had already been fielding media requests asking if the movie had been produced by pornographers,” bristles Loup Perch-Tounge of the Porn Valley Chamber of Commerce, “but we assured them our production value is much higher, especially with the 2008 collapse of altporn.”
Scrotox And Fellatio Dogs: How Porn Continues to Influence the Economy
A recent trip to the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas revealed that porn still has its fingers way up the needs of American consumers.
Vivid pursues Chinese wife-swappers
AVN, an adult trade publication, was quick to call the yet-to-be-made movie “Ultimately Strokable.”
Romney Walks Back “Lesbians Are Sinners” Comments
‘With fingers, toys, and tongues hard at work, these ladies will always succumb to the sins of lesbians,’ it says right here. Always, my friends.
“On Peeing”: The NPR Porn Parody
Beating out “Meth Air” and “Fellate—Don’t Tell Me,” the first-ever National Public Radio porn parody will be Gram Ponante’s “On Peeing.”
AVN dissolved in Greek debt restructure
An April Fool’s joke—OR IS IT?
FBI: Whitey Bulger also had huge porn stash
“I really would have liked to have seen him in Axel Braun’s ‘The Departed XXX’ with Octomom,” says Mueller. “But I guess we have to jail him and stuff.”
Finally, a Miss USA who hasn’t done porn
“[Campanella] didn’t know what a popshot was,” marveled Miss Kentucky. “Much less a Fake Internal Popshot.”
WHO: Pube renaissance will lead to decreased birthrate
“…the date is fast approaching when males who have only seen shaved pubic areas in porn videos will want to start families, and won’t have a clue where to begin.”
AIDS Healthcare teams with Stuart Lawley for “Not Yogi Bear dot-XXX”
“I’m not sure about the ethics, but if they ask me to direct my ‘This Ain’t The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald’ script and they pay on time, well…”
Yo Jenna Jenna
Jameson denies rumors that she will be the Yo Gabba Gabba troupe’s sixth member, Teetoe
Gonzo girls protest 747 "ghetto"
As first reported on this site, the new 747 area code overlay for Porn Valley will take effect in May, and the issue of who […]