…just imagine what a bunch of porn directors will do when considering the pliant, spongy form of Alexis Texas.
In some countries, they don’t even have tits
“If Armani hires Kate Moss,” Hay says. “Then Kate is wearing Armani that day. You will be hired for specific things.”
Porn boxcovers, according to the Journal of Fabricated Statistics, account for 87 percent of the reason people buy a particular DVD. Gram Ponante talks with the team behind Elegant Angel’s elegant boxcovers.
Scarlett Revell: “I have to feel like I’m there. I want to smell the penises and pussies and sexual juices.”
What do you really know about the professions of thuggery and mind control? Maybe those people naturally have sex all the time.
“[Campanella] didn’t know what a popshot was,” marveled Miss Kentucky. “Much less a Fake Internal Popshot.”
Everyone knows that spread legs are a woman’s way of saying “impregnate me and tie me to the Earth.”
“Your sperm tried to make my eye pregnant,” says Vanessa Cage. “I don’t want no eye babies.”
“The recent proliferation of new porn awards is a sure sign the world economy is rebounding,” World Trade Organization Director-General Pascal Lamy did not say.
“Gia” imagines that the porn world is big enough to accommodate actual stardom.
Jayden Jaymes looks like the type of woman who, in the old country, people got in vendettas about.
This movie suggests that presidents George Washington, Franklin Roosevelt, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon B. Johnson, Richard Nixon, and Bill Clinton were unfaithful to their wives.
“Ass-Out-of-Pants is a look perfected by plumbers, of course, but anyone can do it,” says GramPonante.com valet Loup Perch-Tounge. “The idea is to maintain plausible deniability. ‘Has my ass fallen out of my pants? Oh, I see it has.'”
It was cold but, to my credit, I never thought, “Gee, I fucking wish it was a hundred and fucking 13 degrees out.”
One of the many testaments to the thoughtful direction and restraint of “Rawhide II” is that it wasn’t named “Boner-anza.”
“Hollywood’s Nailin’ Palin” is a much better franchise reboot than Edward Norton’s “The Incredible Hulk.”
Long ago, life was clean/Sex was bad and obscene/Victoria was my queen
It turns out the best porn parody wasn’t even funny, that Tori Black talks in a nice, low register when you’re fucking her in the ass, and that Phoenix Marie and Andi Anderson re-enacted a scene from “Bull Durham” in this week’s reviews. Be the first to tell me the song that was playing in…
Studio: MuffiaDirector: Phoenix MarieCast: Phoenix Marie, Andi Anderson, Eric Swiss, Angelina Valentine, Carmella Bing, Francesca Le, Tori Black, Adriana Nicole You know who’s sexy in person? Phoenix Marie. She seems, in all the best ways, ready to go. So we were very interested to see her solo project, “My Sexy Life.” A lot of porn…