As you know, I am a frequent contributor to gentlemen’s magazines, read on Army bases and under blankets worldwide. I also send out the occasional press release to adult trade publications. But not everyone agrees on the old vagina.
I had the following conversation with bearded colleague Steve Javors, editor of AVN, regarding some photos he wanted to include on a story about Gazzman and Harmony Films.
Steve: I have a simple request. I’m looking for a few hi-res stills from one of their recent productions. Topless would be nice. That’s the most we can show.
Grams: Is a vagina not a vagina if it’s not spread?
Steve: A vagina is always a vagina!
The pictures in this post, all from a recent shoot of Gazzman’s “Young Harlots Academy,” were rejected for being too vadgy.
AVN, because it is a classy publication, can’t show the vagina. Contrast that with Hustler, which requests lots of spreading so its customers know where to aim. I had this conversation with an editor recently.
Grams: I got several very nice sunlight shots.
Editor: Any facing?
Grams: From above.
Editor: Were her knees up?
Gram: Yes, but demurely…
Editor: Yeah, sorry. It needs to look like she’s about to give birth.
And, for a series of Spanish-language porn magazines that have since disappeared (leaving a trail of bouncing checks behind them), I was asked to submit stories with as much “La Rosa” as possible.
Grams: Como “La Rosa”?
Juan: The pink. The pinkness inside. Inside the vagina.
Grams: OK…
Juan: If she is spreading it with the fingers, especially. Especially good the La Rosa.
I’ve always thought “spread” shots were a little too on the nose, as it were. It’s not that I’m curmudgeonly and want everything left to my imagination, but when a model (or someone I encounter in my real life) spreads herself like that, my mind always says, “Oh no: I prefer to do that myself.”
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Ass to Mouth—Adrianna Nicole and “The King’s Speech”; I was there—a short history of The Greatest Photograph Ever Taken
See also: Harmony Films, Hustler, AVN
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist
Welcome to the world of The Porn Spinner. It doesn’t pay any better than being a porn journalist, the hoops are set higher and the hours are much longer.
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“Oh no: I prefer to do that myself.” –Hahha, good one!