This house is a party bus

Remember the Gap Band’s song “Party Train”? Nowhere in the song did it explain why the cost was only a nickel or a dime. Was it because the singer didn’t know? Or was there a different type of service offered if one paid more? Did one have to swallow sperm?

After months of planning and secret negotiations with federal, state, and local authorities, Seymore Butts’ party bus took off on its maiden voyage tonight from a location disturbingly close to the production company responsible for the execrable ABC show Love Cruise. The two have nothing in common, other than both are vehicles.

From my XBiz story:

Butts Launches In-home Marketing

CHATSWORTH, Calif. – Seymore Butts and xXxposed Entertainment announced Ladies Night Parties, a home-based adult product marketing campaign for women.

Butts, whose real name is Adam Glasser, is the star of Showtime’s adult industry reality series “Family Business.” “Our aim is to make xXxposed Entertainment the ultimate one-stop shop for Adult Entertainment and party services,” Glasser said.

Ladies Night Parties will feature home visits by female demonstrators with access to adult novelties, lingerie, videos, lotions, and the Seymore Butts’ line of “Toyz” products.

“A small financial investment gets a woman a 30-item demonstrator kit,” Craig Price, President of Seymore Butts’ xXxPosed Entertainment, told XBiz. The company is recruiting women through its website, Price said. “We are looking for professional women who perhaps want to change careers or are looking for a little extra cash.”

The method of attracting customers is similar to other home-marketing business models, Price said. A demonstrator first contacts groups of people known to her, and word-of-mouth attracts more clients.

“The branding of the Seymore Butts name has a lot of potential with a hit show behind it,” Price said. “We’re very excited about getting the name out nationwide.”

“2005 is all about vertical integration for me,” Glasser said.

“Family Business” personality Cousin Stevie as well as regulars Mari Possa and Flower have endorsed Phallix Glass functional erotic art, and xXxposed Entertainment last week announced its “Party Bus” service for several U.S. cities. Ladies Home Night is similarly designed to be nationwide.

“Once we established our toy and novelty lines, the Home Party model seemed like a natural fit,” Glasser said. xXxposed Entertainment is currently seeking women interested in being in-home product demonstrators. Call (877) 497-6733 or click here for more information.

I don’t know if this thing is going to fly.

Tonight we boarded the comfortable airport shuttle-style bus (though equipped with stripper poles) and were joined by Annie Cruz, Memphis Monroe, Janet Jacme and, later, Ashley Blue, each of whom got either naked or suggestive or both. We drve around town for a couple of hours, tipped the women heavily, and departed.

No favors were exchanged nor alcohol consumed.

I’m not saying the party bus was tame, because the naked likes of Memphis Monroe, according to this fortune cookie here, are welcome at any occasion. But the limits required to make everyone safe (and there are good reasons for them) cancel out the cool factor of driving around in a modified F-150 with strippers.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Why Ashley Blue might be cool

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Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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