“I’m happy to be convalescing here,” Tyler said. “The food is far healthier and not so loaded with hormones, preservatives, carcinogens and the like.”
But chemotherapy sometimes robs her of her appetite. I asked if there was one thing she missed about California.
“The one fast food I do miss from time to time [is] the In-N-Out Double-Double with no onions,” she said.
If I am ever forced to leave the state of California and am refused asylum in both Arizona and Nevada (the two other states where In-N-Out Burgers are located), that fast food franchise will be right up there with Disneyland, inexpensive Mexican food, personally-delivered porn auditions, and every bar without bottle service in Los Angeles on my list of things I’d miss.
“The only real food complaint I have about living here is the Atlantic salmon,” Tyler said. “It’s just not salmon. [It's] all oily and pathetically puny. Tastes more like tinned salmon to me. I miss my beloved Pacific salmon most of all.”
It was at this point that I began thinking Tyler was speaking in code.
“I grew up on Vancouver Island, BC, salmon capitol of the world, and was spoiled by healthy, big, pink fish,” she said, staring right at me but through a computer.
“Are we still talking about the same thing?”
So, even if a Canadian accent starts creeping back into Tyler as the cancer gets zapped out, make sure to think fond thoughts about Tina the next time you get a Double-Double; that’s what a hamburger is all about.