It is not a crime – only creepy – to make porn featuring women pretending to be younger than they are, specifically, by virtue of their lollipops and pigtails, below legal age.
And it is also not a crime to imply the presence of but not depict children, such as in movies like Digital Playground’s “Babysitters” and Hustler’s new “Naughty Nannies.”
What is a crime is that I had to wait until a DVD arrived to see Arianna Armani naked.
You may remember that I met Armani the same night I met Marilyn Chambers. Armani had just signed with Digital Playground and had changed her Christian nom de porn from Arianna to Angelina. But, faster than you could say Adrenalynne, Armani was a free agent again, posing with my copy of “Jaws” at the Hard Rock Hotel.
And not getting naked.
“Don’t give it all away,” said her handler, the svengali Monstar, saying something about the evils of the Internet.
That is why I have to rely on an awkward scene shot in May of 2008 to determine if Armani looks good naked. Why? Because free content is ruining porn.
At least that’s what I heard someone say at a seminar. Myself, I was amazed by the hesitance of this scene, the frequent cutting out of sound, and the repetition of dialogue (“You like that?” says Armani a few times, to which Rocco Reed unconvincingly replies “Amazing!”)
There is also nothing in the scene which suggests that Armani is a nanny or who Reed is in relation to the nanny’s charges. But that doesn’t matter as long as she’s naked, right?
Far be it from me to even suggest that a porn performer’s only worth lies in her nudity. That would be like saying that people only look at my site for the copious T&A and not the scintillating and often poignant writing.
Feel free to disagree, but having seen Armani in a scene that was not very good and that didn’t display Armani’s wit, the only thing that I have to fall back on is her winning, shark enthusiast personality. It’s the personality – or the suggestion of one – that makes the nudity desirable, and why she should become naked immediately upon being presented with my copy of “Watchmen.”
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: You’re gonna need a bigger throat; Help “Angelina” Armani to love L.A.; Oral fixations
See also: Hustler
Leave a Reply