Whether it’s a titpop or a jawbreaker, these milves are on the move!

With the worsening economy I’m experimenting with writing headlines the way I would for Good Housekeeping. Do you think it will work?

My continuing quest for authenticity and MILF-transparency yesterday found me in northwest Porn Valley to watch the filming of the latest installment of Northstar’s Minivan Moms.

Northstar is the Orange County-based company of Peter North, and there were three milves in attendance for the purposes of the movie, directed by Oliver Ashe.

Earlier this year I was outraged by the utter absence of even a mention of a minivan in Minivan Moms 7, so I felt like a UN MILF observer or Jimmy Carter yesterday, checking to see that everything was on the up and up and sinning in my heart.

Director Ashe is a New Jersey transplant. Prior to moving to Northstar, in Irvine, four years ago, he worked for IVD, one of the largest distributors in the adult industry. Another IVD alum is Jules Jordan.

Ashe thinks California weather is brutal and the traffic is stupid. I agree, but do you know how much a good burrito costs in Newark?

On hand in the hidden studio facility (it was located in a warehouse that also includes a tire outlet) were Vannah Sterling, Anjanette Astoria, and Nina Hartley, who would be featured on the boxcover.

Both Sterling and Astoria have been in porn for less than a year, but as they were a little older, the vibe on the set seemed less ready to explode in flames, cops, and gun-toting boyfriends. It was relaxed.

“I like working with the older women,” Ashe said. “They’re doing it less for the money than for the fun.”

Vannah Sterling was being fucked on a towel in the bathroom by John Espizedo. The bathroom was also part of the set, so one could fuck in the shower and then actually take a shower. It’s smart when things are functional.

Espizedo was wearing shoes, Sterling wasn’t. I liked that she wasn’t, because the Greek-American New York native had her feet planted firmly on the floor, ready for all comers, the way her ancestors probably did in the showers of Athens.

“Do you still cook Greek food?” I probed, America’s Beloved Porn Journalist.

“Yes,” Sterling said. “Moussaka.”

Ashe zoomed in for staged hardcore stills, the kind of photos you’d find on the back of the box that are difficult to capture when the actual sex is taking place. He placed Espizedo and Sterling in blowjob position, took a couple of pictures, and then asked her to do a jawbreaker.

“What’s that?” she asked.

“When you can see the cock plumping out your cheek,” he explained.

“Got it,” she said.

I asked Sterling what happened in the scene prior to the jawbreaker.

“[Espizedo] borrowed my husband’s minivan,” she said. “He’s a kid from the neighborhood that I haven’t seen in a long time. And then we – ” she trailed off.

It really is hard to explain, once you get right down to it, the things that lead to getting or giving a jawbreaker. These things just happen. I don’t know how many times I have had to convince juries of this.

I asked Sterling what her definition of MILF was.

“A hot mom,” she said.

“So a MILF has to have given birth, right?” I said.

“Yes,” she said.

Even the newest arrivals to porn seem to know this. Why, then, is there such rampant abuse of the MILF label?

In another room was Nina Hartley. Her scene with Will Power would involve his returning her minivan late and Hartley extracting some pleasure for the inconvenience.

“Your girlfriend’s not going to know,” she said.

“Well, I might get fired,” he said.

“Your boss doesn’t need to know, either,” she said.

“My day just got better,” he said.

The dialogue was improvised but Ashe had them repeat it as he moved the camera to each of their faces. That way the movie will not look like a panning, sloppy mess.

“Our budgets aren’t too big,” he said. “I think this is the most people we’ve ever had on a set.”

In addition to the cast, Ashe, Stacie the makeup lady, me, and second cameraman Rich Zaye, Astoria had brought her husband, who watched the proceedings avidly. Not like Frank Sinatra watched Mia Farrow on the set of Rosemary’s Baby, bust as a man intensely proud of his hot wife about to be banged by Dino Bravo.

The production equipment included four lights – two for each scene being shot concurrently – two video cameras, one still camera, and some towels.

“So it’s the cast and the location we pay for,” said Ashe, “and me and Rich are on salary, so we keep the overhead low.”

If Sterling needed a primer on the terminology, Hartley had been down this road so many times that she sounded like a porn field manual or an OSHA supplement.

“If there’s anything you say to me on camera,” she said to Power, “I’ll believe you and do it. So don’t say ‘That’s it!’ or ‘Go faster!’ if you don’t mean it.”

Later Hartley discussed with Ashe where the popshot would go.

“I think the other girl got it on the neck,” Ashe said.

“I’m just wondering if we should do a facepop, neckpop, or titpop,” she said. I believe they settled on the latter.

See Hartley’s leveraged definition of MILF here.

Because the lights were bright and the rooms were small, Ashe took off his shirt while filming. I would have done this too had I been wearing more than socks.

Astoria showed up with most of her makeup applied already. A dancer at The Embers in Sacramento, she travels several hours from her home in the Modesto area to appear in movies. She has been filming scenes for eight months.

“What is a MILF?” I asked.

“Well, she’s gotta have children,” she said, a slight Virginia accent surfacing.

“Are your boobs fake or real?” asked the makeup lady, who until two years ago was the performer Alaura Eden.

“They’re fake,” Astoria said, “but I just turned 35, and after five kids, well, you need them.”

“You have five kids?” I think I spat out my appendix.

When she dances, Astoria can lift herself up the pole by her calves. (I left before seeing her scene with Bravo but I assume he’s dead now.)

While there were – again – no actual minivans in this movie, I was pleased that minivans were at least mentioned in each scene. And Astoria has so many kids that she could have easily loaned them out to anyone on the set who wasn’t a mom. So things are looking up.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Minivan Moms 7 review; Lexington Steele tries to be all things to all people; Sex on the nest with Nina Hartley
See also: Northstar Associates