What with our recent discussion about linguists, it seems fitting that we revisit the MILF and address how we should collectively refer to her kind.
MILF is an acronym for Mom I’d Like to Fuck, and in porn we have seen that that term has been badly abused, as oftentimes a woman billed as a MILF is neither a mom nor a woman I, Gram Ponante, America’s Beloved Porn Journalist, would like to fuck.
MILF has come to be used to denote any sexually aggressive older woman, despite the fact that the word “cougar” already fits that definition.
But today we’re not here to talk about whether or not a woman is a MILF, but how we should refer to a group of them.
“MILF” is an acronym, meaning a word that can be pronounced from the initials of other words. Many people erroneously believe that an acronym is just a series of initials, but you have to be able to pronounce the series like a word. So LOL is an acronym where BRB and WTF are not. NASA is an acronym, as are OPEC, WASP, and scuba. In fact, for words like scuba (self-contained underwater breathing apparatus), many of us have long-ago forgotten that the word is an acronym at all.
At this point I’ll agree that it’s really important this article contains nudity.
So if MILF is an acronym and therefore a word, is its plural MILFs or Milves? In a sentence, would you say, “I would like to shoot a ropey volley across that desperate group of MILFs” or “milves“?
I think the plural should be milves because it is reminiscent of wolves and turves, as in “I would love to roll those milves in the turves where my buddies and I play golves.”
That being said, Tyann Mason and Friday are excellent in Hustler’s Revenge of the MILFs. At first I was worried that revenge – as good a reason for having sex as any – would not actually be a part of the movie. But each of the milves has vengeance on her mind in this movie, even to the point of Mason seducing a Mormon missionary.
Revenge of the MILFs
Previously: Alternate dialogue for a MILF movie; Gram Ponante launches International MILF Registry
See also: Hustler
i perfer MILFs
Not that Canadians are any cunninger, linguistwise, but the Toronto Maple Leafs (not Leaves) have had a long and venerable record of mediocrity as a hockey team, and their plural Fs bat nary an eye.
This has very little to do with porn, of course, unless you consider how badly Leafs fans get screwed by their inept management.
Thank you so much for bringing up Toronto. We can also talk about the abundance of street waifs in porn, but we don’t call them waives. Still, doesn’t the fact that MILF is an acronym call for a standardized plural structure? This is the most fun I’ve had in 15 minutes.
Acronyms are the last bastion of the damned, standardized plural structure-wise. Consider the RBI, which could be run batted in, or runs batted in, and is sometimes RBIs, which would be literally (and absurdly), “run batted ins.”
MsILF? Now there’s an icky acronym. But the URL might be available …
PS – Glad you had fun. Here, 15 minutes of fun from wharf-waifs or other working girls costs $80 for the first quarter hour.