Why is this woman unemployed?

“What kind of work are you talking about?” asks Sindee Jennings who, despite appearing several times on GramPonante.com, we are expected to believe doesn’t have a job.

As you are doubtless aware, the difference between reality porn and celebrity porn is that the former features actual porn performers who wouldn’t be caught dead having sex with a real person, and the latter involves bad sex between people who aren’t celebrities

To its credit, “Unemployment Benefits” goes a little further than most reality porn to suggest to people back in Bogue Chitto that, here in Los Angeles, attractive women can be picked up from the Unemployment Office parking lot.

Studio: Bluebird Films
Director: Marc Twain
Starring: Romana Ryder, Madison Parker, Isis Taylor, Isis Love, Sindee Jennings, TJ Cummings, Anthony Rosano, Bill Bailey, Danny Mountain

“Unemployment Benefits” suggests that hot women cannot get jobs in America, which is shocking, and that the unemployment office requires more documentation than giving a blowjob on film does, which is untrue.

The setup is that men accost likely women outside L.A.-area unemployment offices and offer them a way to make easy money by modeling. The difference between this and other pickup videos is that there are more simulated negotiations, and some women put up more of a fight to make the proceedings more realistic.

It’s weird, though, how extra reality on one end exposes a lack of credibility on the other.

I have no problem that porn is fantasy-based, and that fantasy is the accessibility of these women (I mean, they’re accessible to me, but I’m the media), but what turned out to be an unexpected concern is that there is a genre of porn widely available that either implies or states that no testing or age verification is done when a condomless scene is shot in a motel room or San Fernando Valley warehouse park.

It defies accepted wisdom, such as:

1. Our mothers telling us not to get in the car with strangers
2. Our aversion to being filmed without permission
3. Our natural behavior, when taking someone home whom we just met, to determine if that person is of legal age and to wear adequate protection when defiling her

But, once we have suspended all that disbelief and settle down to watch some porn, we only hit a few bumps. For example:

1. Of course Romana Ryder can’t get a job; she’s British and doesn’t know the language
2. I bet Isis Taylor and Isis Love had no fucking expectation they’d ever have to deal with another Isis in the same business, much less the same movie

Ultimately viewers will find something very real in this movie, despite its staginess. Myself, I liked how choky some of the scenes were. But you might also be struck by the reality of:

The guys sent out to get the girls are all very charming and the women respond to them, whereas the cameraman (we’re assuming it it director Marc Twain) sounds like an officious third wheel whose very annoyingness serves to drive women into the clutches of people like Danny Mountain, Bill Bailey, TJ Cummings, and Anthony Rosano.
When Sindee Jennings tells the camera that, at 5’2″, she can’t get traditional modeling jobs, and that’s why she’s seeking unemployment, we believe her. The world is an unfeeling monster.
The delicious Madison Parker has a Mexican accent; we don’t believe for a second that she’s unemployed, but we do know this porn wasn’t shot in Massachusetts.
And Isis Taylor? She texts while people are talking to her. If that isn’t an L.A. move (and a reason to be unemployed), I don’t know what is.
Finally, Isis Love plays a woman who actually has a job—at the Van Nuys Library—but she gamely goes along with the boys anyway. Love has the overly made-up and officious look of any L.A. County employee until she takes off her clothes and we realize she is juicy. It makes me not dread my next trip to the DMV.