You Can Leave Your Heels On: “How To Be A Better Lover”

This gentle, reassuring instructional video, which features gentlemanly Scott Styles demonstrating How To Treat A Lady on such ladies as Lexi Belle, Audrey Bitoni, and Brooke Banner, nevertheless implies a terrifying truth:

If Styles has to tell people where the G-spot is, if he has to tell people to go slow, to use lube, and to get tested for diseases, what kind of world do we live in?

If you’re like me, you learned quick after your first girlfriend said, “Don’t put it in dry.”

Don’t get me wrong: Styles is polite and amiable and Belle, Bitoni, and Banner are great to look at, but either this video gets marketed to junior high sex ed classes or it needs to be placed in the Loser aisle of your local 20/20 Video.

Studio: Wicked
Director: Scott Styles
Starring: Scott Styles, Lwexi Belle, Audrey Bitoni, Brooke Banner

Styles stresses lube and slowness in this educational video, part of a series that has already seen several titles by jessica drake. He also suggests not switching on the football game immediately after coming.

If Dad had been a mustachioed bodybuilder, he would have very likely given me the same advice as Styles does, which boils down to taking one’s time with a lady, else she won’t want you back.

And I’m willing—if surprised—to believe that this advice is still necessary for people, even in this sex-blog-saturated age. But I would have appreciated more specific advice, like “Don’t agree when she says she’s fat,” “Don’t tell her during sex that the dog crapped on the couch,” and/or “Casually mention how cool she is for hanging around with women not as sexy as her.”

Because I’m thinking that the guy who needs to hear “Don’t grab her breasts right out of the gate” also needs to hear, “Never tell her that her vagina smells.”

This movie is a “Basics” course so it stands to reason that the flick is chock-full of obvious advice to enlightened people like you. Furthermore, we can’t help but think that the dude who lands Lexi Belle, Audrey Bitoni, and Brooke Banner either already knows how to eat pussy or has enough cash to let them hire someone for those needs.

No, I kind of don’t want to see the woman a man who needs to watch this video will use to practice Styles’ techniques.

One aspect of the movie I found charming was Styles’ assertion that cunnilingus simply can’t be filmed properly, thus we watch the back of his head as it describes patterns on Lexi Belle’s vulva.

The movie is refreshingly gentle, and Styles does not come off as creepy, which is no mean feat. Speaking of feet, though, Belle tells us that we “shouldn’t take (our) cues from porn,” even as she props her high heels on Styles’ back so that he may eat her better.

And later, with Brooke Banner, Styles pulls out and comes, porn-style, on her stomach.

If this is being a better lover, I’m watching the football game.

Buy “How To Be A Better Lover” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: The Load Ahead—jessica drake on fellatio futures; “Drenched in Love”—Warrant song or Wicked movie?
See also: Scott Styles

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *