Gram Ponante: America's Beloved Porn Journalist

You win the Freakness, Angelina Valentine; I’ll Have Another

Kentucky Derby winner I’ll Have Another won the Preakness this weekend—thus completing 2/3 of the Triple Crown—and that made me think of one of my favorite subjects: Porn Stars from Kentucky (like Angelina Valentine).

If I ever had to live in a landlocked-but-for-juleps place, Readers, I would live in Kentucky. I have yet to meet a porn star from Kentucky whose Derby party I wouldn’t eagerly attend. Audrey Hollander, Lisa Sparxxx, Charley Chase, Tera Wray, and Memphis Monroe all have ties to the Bluegrass State (really a Commonwealth), and Kentuckioids in general are an eager-to-please group of people.

Aside from Bonnie Prince Billy, I guess.

We can see that Ms. Valentine has had some inking and salinating work done in her half-decade in porn, as is her right, but it is her vaguely Satanic joie de vivre (watch her faux-meltdown on the set of “Wasted”) that makes her a star and a credit to her native state.

I know that the Preakness has nothing to do with Kentucky, Buddy. I can’t believe you’d nitpick when I just presented you—for free—something that is available nowhere else on the Internet: Nudity with Context.

These images are courtesy of Hustler, which this week released the Angelina Valewntine compilation “Angelina Valentine Squirts,” which you can buy here.

(To be honest, “Squirts” in this context refers more to the hastily-compiled bits of Angelina Valentine footage rather than female ejaculation, which only occurs in one scene.)

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Everybody Must Get Wasted; Jack’s Teen America 23

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2 Comments Post a Comment
  1. Christopher says:

    Ummmm… I’ll take the “before,” please.

  2. DR.FUNK says:

    I’m ok with the boob job.
    It’s the “exploded airbag” lip work that’s annoying.Have we learned nothing from Lisa Rinna? “Subtle” work best for lips.Oh…and anytime this ink fad would care to leave us-I’m good with that.Talk about “bumper sticker on a Bentley”…

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