Gram Ponante: America's Beloved Porn Journalist

Your squirting will be legendary—even in Hell

I am a big fan of squirting. Do I think it’s female ejaculation? No, but I like it the way I like movies in which things blow up; it’s an event.

It makes me think: Hey, the guy’s not the only one doing all the work for 1/2 of what she’s getting.

In real life, it’s also a reaction that’s easy to think you had something to do with, even if you didn’t. It’s like crocodile tears, except it’s crocodile ejaculation.

Adam & Eve has compiled a series of squirting scenes called “Legendary Squirters,” and I couldn’t help but think of Pinhead in “Hellraiser II.”

“Your suffering will be legendary,” he tells Kirsty Cotton, who steadfastly refuses to be naked throughout the series, “even in Hell.”

I don’t know if there are ancient societies who revere squirters and annually induct legendary ones into their pantheon, but I like to imagine a legendary race of squirters from some culture who, I don’t know, are credited with having put out the volcanoes. Can you imagine some tribe somewhere having a shrine to Cytherea? I can.

  • Buy “Legendary Squirters” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Patience is a squirtue (Welcome Back Cytherea); Nikki Nievez makes it rain
See also: Adam & Eve

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Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist Gram the Man tagged this post with: , , , Read 4088 articles by
One Comments Post a Comment
  1. Norm Copesurn says:

    “Can you imagine some tribe somewhere having a shrine to Cytherea? I can.”
    Second that.

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