You’ve Got To Know When to Fuck ’em: “Losing Kayden”

When James Deen’s gambling addiction threatens both his home and the life of his wife, Kayden Kross … nothing bad happens. The moral of “Losing Kayden” seems to be that divorcing an addict is a great idea if you’re hot already.

losingkayden16Studio: Digital Playground
Director: Robby D.
Starring: Kayden Kross, Alexis Texas, Allie James, Lia Lor, Mischa Brooks, Manuel Ferrara, Steve Holmes, Erik Everhard, James Deen

Gambling addict James Deen promises Kayden Kross he will reform, but no sooner does he come on her face than he lams it to another unlicensed poker game, run by prostitute-dispensing criminal Steve Holmes.

“I can’t stop gambling!” Deen wails to her later.

“No, you can’t stop losing,” she says. Zing!

Deen loses the house, and that’s the last we see of him. Lucky for Kayden, reluctant Holmes henchmen Manuel Ferrara and Erik Everhard intercede on her behalf, leaving the viewer to consider two things:

1. If Kayden weren’t powerfully attractive, she’d be shit out of a house.
2. Will “Losing Kayden” be the rock bottom for James Deen to finally get some help with his gambling addiction?
3. Is having an awesome life again as simple as divorcing the addict you’re married to?

This Manwin-era Robby D. film reflects the comparatively lush budgets Digital can afford as well as the economic style director Robby D. has developed, with token bits of character development that shore up a story featuring all our beautiful friends in roles we don’t really believe them in.

But that’s OK, because the effort matters, too. There are little bits of business throughout the film, most often concerning Everhard’s dream of opening up some ice cream shops in Florida when he’s done henching.

The things that make “Losing Kayden” a solid standalone movie—attractive cast with chemistry and familiarity with each other—also makes it a little hard to swallow.

On the one hand, we accept that all these performers we’ve seen in a hundred other movies—who are calling each other by their first names to avoid confusion—are now playing different roles than they were in the fireman movie, the nurse movie, the stewardess movie: henchman, bitter wife, etc., but on the other hand, our familiarity with these people always makes it impossible for them to disappear into their characters.

The exceptions are Holmes and his juicy assistant, Alexis Texas. We believe Holmes would make a very serviceable crime lord, and Texas would clean up as a moll.

“Losing Kayden” is a solid but edgeless movie; the kind of porn film where you appreciate that the cast has learned all that dialogue, but you just wish they’d fuck, as the story means nothing to you.

Buy “Losing Kayden” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: In “Fighters,” the real star is the fathers
See also: Digital Playground

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Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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