People associated with porn comprise less than ten percent of Hollywood’s 50 Dumbest People, according to a recent survey published in the New York Daily News, but porn’s boosters see their inclusion as a victory.
Kim Kardashian, Tom Sizemore, and Dustin Diamond, all of whom have released sex tapes (sort of), and “Girls Gone Wild” founder Joe Francis were each singled out for his or her poor choices and behavior.
While Sizemore and Francis were voted numbers 49 and 50, and Diamond was solidly in the middle of the list, Kardashian was ranked as the second dumbest person in Hollywood, after Lindsay Lohan.
“Sizemore and Francis could be construed as Hollywood’s 75,611th and 75,612th smartest people, based on the recent census, but Kardashian’s berth at #2 Dumbest is clearly a milestonic achievement in porn’s acceptance in mainstream culture,” said Loup Perch-Tounge, chairman of adult industry thinktank The Creampie Group.
“It takes some effort to be dumber than Kevin Federline,” he noted.
Still, a number of porn luminaries are grousing that they were unfairly overlooked.
“I have been in this business for decades,” said one director. “I even sent the Daily News the script to my last production. And nothing? They give me nothing?”
Indeed, entertainment sociologists point out that porn performers must be extra dumb in order to be considered among Tinseltown’s least stupid, due to porn’s small population relative to that of mainstream Hollywood.
“Indeed,” said Gram Ponante, repeating the word “indeed”, “pornfolk lose out not because they haven’t done tremendously stupid things, but because the rest of the world doesn’t pay them the attention they think it does. You can be the stupidest person in the world but if your movie only sells 740 copies, no one will ever know how stupid you really are.”
Perch-Tounge has high hopes for 2008. “I want us to be in the double digits of dumb next year,” he said, holding up a button with words to that effect. “I hear some people are coming out of retirement.”
Previously: Sizemore, Hilton, Mikayla, and Death; Screeched; Francis sued again in sex for shirts scandal
See also: Daily News Lists Top 50 Dumbest People in Hollywood (nydailynews)
I’m always holding out hope for a Susan Stamberg or Stephen Hawking sex tape. Sadly, though, I think these people understand that their fame isn’t based on badly-composed sex scenes shot in the oh-so-sexy green glow of nightvision.
Hawking sex would not be shot with nightvision. It would be captured in a cloud chamber.
Hot Hawking sex would also happen and not happen at the same time.
“When I hear of Schrodinger’s cat, I reach for my zipper.”