Tim Woodman, Pro Villain, describes the things that tie him in knots as a bondage rigger.
Mia Malkova is not some wizened strip of sex jerky, walking amongst the cranes and helipads of Downtown L.A. in director Mason’s “Erotica X.” In fact, had she skipped lunch, she might have blown right off the roof.
Somewhere after “Mean Girls,” Lindsey Lohan became porny in affectation without showing the skin to back it up. Then all the curves melted away in a haboob of cocaine. Finally, by “The Canyons,” we kind of didn’t want to see her naked anymore. Natasha Nice reminds us of all that promise, and delivers in a crazy joyride of flesh and drama.
“I have something else for you to do,” Starr tells Andrews. “Me.”
Discretion is key in personal rubbing-one-out devices, but is it too much to ask for some bonsai sea monster action, too? Well, the creators of the Gröömin don’t think so; they want you to feel like you could destroy Tokyo with the head of your penis.
Gram Ponante attends the second CatalystCon West
In addition to closing National Park Service sites and furloughing federal employees, the government shutdown that went into effect this morning has closed the Fellatio Dog Program, which congressional Republicans call “the Blowjob Entitlement.”
If this town had a Wicker Man, “Summer Lovin’” would have been a way better movie.
“Then why was there only one set of footprints?”
“Because I was fucking you.”