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Porn Standards Conclabe Supports Milves, Abolishes Strokable

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Notes from the 12th Porn Standards Conclabe CHATSWORTH, Calif.— Calling to order the 12th Annual Porn Standards Conclabe at the Lamplighter Restaurant here, Porn Valley Chamber of Commerce Chairperson Loup Perch-Tounge welcomed industry dramaturgs, archivists, scribes, and tastemakers from as far away as Tampa to both Portlands as well as sizable retinues from San Francisco, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles. True to this year’s theme of “Reach for the Stars,” attendees sampled Kirkland products from the Costco on Roscoe while

50 Shades Times 140: A Kinky Tweet Contest

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Remember how, fearing Cat Stevens might kill Salman Rushdie, you purchased “The Satanic Verses”? Or that trip you took to recover Skylab souvenirs in Australia, or when you adopted Elian Gonzalez? Well, now you can own a piece of a cultural phenomenon and all you have to do is tweet. You know how to tweet, don’t you? You just put your lips together, and … damn it. That’s not tweeting; that’s siphoning gas from a stolen car. Anyway, my good