New Adult Awards Show Promises Showbiz, Sparkle, Panche

the adult awards

the adult awards
I am not sure if adult awards shows actually make money but, in the way one might feel compelled to host a book club fundraiser for Hillary 2016, here comes another one, notable for its “showbiz-style.”

Held as a two day extravaganza! The Adult Awards 2015 is to be held during the ending of Xbiz London on 17th September with the judging and pre-recording for television taking place in a studio stage, followed on the 18th by a glitzy, showbiz styled extravaganza with true sparkle that meets the requirements of attendees, nominees and sponsors.

London-based Oscar Storm Studio, apparently a studio rental facility that may or may not also be an adult talent agency, is throwing this wingding, and it couldn’t be a more special extravaganza. Just listen:

The Adult Awards ceremony is very much a showbiz affair staged with glamour, panche, style, glitz and fun with entertainment. The adult business is international and all attendees are welcome, which is why we have allocated two separate venues over two days to ensure a very special extravaganza catering for all within the adult business, accommodating potential sponsors with their invited guests and those movers and shakers within the adult business and those all important attendees.

Have you ever been staged with panche? I have. All I’m saying is that I’m glad I had access to my health insurance in Mexico.

One gets the feeling that any adult star who shows up on the 17th is way more likely to get an award the 18th — for taping by international terrestrial television TBA — but what do I know of such heady matters. I just learned that a ground floor entrance is a big thing in London, where most people have to catapult a few stories to get in, because of the UK’s horrible class system.

Our venue, in the heart of the City of London, close to the Tower of London, has it’s own ground floor entrance; doors open at 7pm, where red carpet talent finalist will arrive in limousines to the waiting paparazzi!

Guest will proceed to the function area for cocktail reception to be joined by the arriving finalists. Then around 8.30pm all guests will enter the main suite taking their allocated seating.

Whilst dinner is being served; our menu allows for alternative dietary needs, the winners of our preliminary categories will be announced with AV displays of those winners.

According to its website, one of the Adult Awards will be given to the Best Female MILF. Let that one sink in.

the adult awards

I do like that the awards differentiate MILF and mature. I fully expect that the best female MILF performer will show proof of having given birth, and the best female mature performer will show a balanced checkbook, strong hands, and compassion.

Of course, numerous porn awards shows have come and gone in my time in the adult business: very expensive one-offs with Lifetime Achievement Awards and sparse, self-conscious attendance. Tempt someone who might not otherwise come with an award and give the other trophies to friends and anyone else who bothered to show up. Do you remember the Temptation Awards? How about the Adultcon Awards? (And yes, even the Fleshbot Awards, which managed two years before all hell broke loose.) No? I almost didn’t.

I must tell you, though, that the re-emergence of horribly-spelled and -worded press releases charges my batteries a little and makes me remember the halcyon days of Any Idiot Can Make It in Porn. Maybe the economy is looking up.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Will there be another Temptation Awards?; Fleshbot Awards 2011
See Also: The Adult Awards

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Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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