A new adult awards show threatens to return sparkle and panche to the porn industry.
I’ve always felt that naming a Mainstream Favorite is like those movies where the protagonist forsakes his true friends—the misfits!—for the cool kids who have always been mean to him, and will be again.
Unlike many upstart adult award shows, the FANNYs sound like they might occur again
…it doesn’t take much imagination to remember that, 20 years ago, every single movie would have been a Hairy Girl release.
“If you’re going to marry someone from an HBO show, why not Bill Paxton? He seems nice.”
This year’s XRCO Awards were a great fun time; a perfect encapsulation of the misplaced resentment, earnest good will, limited attention span, dark humor, poor planning, and uncalibrated sense of history that Porn Valley’s 4-decades-old adult industry is known for.
Ridiculously mismanaged award shows are the comfort food of the porn industry.
Kayden Kross and Dylan Ryder will host the 2012 XRCO Awards, a porn industry-only event, on April 9
“These are the hottest bitches in the world, and they all have penises,” Domino Presley says.
From now on I want all my parties to be hangar-based
I’m not saying that’s bad. I’m saying that is what it is. Neither publication can claim objectivity, but when’s the last time you objectively jerked off?
“Bitch, please,” she said. “I just used my willpower to keep it from getting on camera.”
Any event with a sponsored open bar and Stoya is worth flying across the country for
“[Campanella] didn’t know what a popshot was,” marveled Miss Kentucky. “Much less a Fake Internal Popshot.”
Gram wonders what the plane fare might be to the type of place in which the XRCO Awards were actually “elegant”
“The recent proliferation of new porn awards is a sure sign the world economy is rebounding,” World Trade Organization Director-General Pascal Lamy did not say.
How to fix adult award shows
Since porn is usually about naked people, Gram took the bold step of humanizing this year’s Ropey Volley awards
Because there’s more than one way women can get ropey volleys lobbed across their faces and necks
Every day I spend as America’s Beloved Porn Journalist is not all about irrumatio, nailed deadlines, and speedballs. There are some days that I must go home emptyhanded.