In not describing the physical attributes or motivations of the players on the other side, Weis—and I’ll throw a lasso around the rest of the mainstream media here, too—implicitly sets up an Us v. Them scenario.

“Farrah’s looks remind me of a young Kim Kardashian,” says Hirsch, and we all know how her story turned out.”

Der VerSpanken: Any marital aid that has a German name is all right by me, because I’m racist that way, and I know the Germans mean business.

Perhaps if he lives in the Lincoln Tunnel, he is technically from Manhattan, but his shirt, unbuttoned to a sunburned gut, suggests Hoboken.

Satine Phoenix’s story should be shocking to porn fans, too.

I think the adult industry needs fixing, but Measure B won’t do it.

I thought that a pair of hanging testicles were instead a couple of extra flappy, duggy breasts on a woman with a really tight stomach.

“This marks the first in a planned franchise for the scantily clad supernatural hellraiser played by the undeniably beautiful Indian-born Adult Film Star, Priya Rai, “

While Roberts has (apparently) not had involvement in the porn industry since his softcore work in the 1980s, media outlets still emphasize his porn resume rather than his more recent non-porn B-movie gigs.

“We had already been fielding media requests asking if the movie had been produced by pornographers,” bristles Loup Perch-Tounge of the Porn Valley Chamber of Commerce, “but we assured them our production value is much higher, especially with the 2008 collapse of altporn.”

Unless the toy is for a part of your person you just can’t get at, like the prostate, or in the case that one has tiny Tyrannosaurus hands, most male-oriented sex toys just add complexity. What type of person wants to add complexity?

AVN, an adult trade publication, was quick to call the yet-to-be-made movie “Ultimately Strokable.”

Would you go to a summer barbecue with a porn movie and hand it to the host, saying, “Hey, this was pretty good; you should watch it”?

In two separate headscratchers of press releases detailing a “survey” and a “Huffington Post blog,” Vivid sulks about Nadya Suleman, The One That Got Away.

Gram Ponante remembers something that happened at camp that made him the person he is today

“The Smurfs XXX” is a backstage look at the porn world through the filter of children’s programming.

Will she even make Screech-level money?

Ridiculously mismanaged award shows are the comfort food of the porn industry.

I mean, do I have to think of everything? Anyway, this is the sort of e-mail I get. The following is a press release reprinted without edits to enlighten non-adult industry readers about how the porn business talks about itself. It was written by an adult industry marketing professional. Spontaneous Orgy Breaks Out on Set [...]

Sometimes people make choices in porn more for what they can avoid than for what they can get