An Open Letter to Celebrities Seeking Porn Star Sex

With the news that porn star Danica Dillion (we are fans of her work here) provided in-person sexual support services to noted overpopulation/ undereducation advocate and anti-LGBT rights activist Josh Duggar, we witness yet again an imperfect storm of compulsions spreading themselves across our broadband-enabled devices: the person who would restrict the sexual freedom of other people while refusing to control it in himself and the person who uses her (exquisite) body to gain attention and fame doing just.fucking.that.

I’m not a Porn Valley apologist. That’s for an earlier generation who dodged vice cops and went to jail and got shot so that I can be here to say that, Yes, everything’s not perfect. And in that spirit I’ll say that there is a reason porn stars and Donald Trump are called attention whores: no publicity is bad publicity.

DANICADUGGAR

Dillon and Duggar got together twice for sex, Dillon says, following her appearances at Pennsylvania’s Gold Club and Creekside Cabaret gentlemen’s establishments. She says she made $2100 from him in lap dances and unprotected sex after a show in Philadelphia, and that Duggar’s style of sex was “rough” and “terrifying.”

This was after the first time, in March of 2015. They had sex again in April. The Magazine InTouch, which broke the story, administered a polygraph test to Dillon on August 24, which she passed.

Do we all want to go watch about a billion Danica Dillon movies now? Yup. Will Dillon be approached with movie offers (“Danica Dillon Is A Duggarfucker” is a good title)? Yup. Was Dillon compensated by InTouch and paid to take a polygraph in a way that porn stars are rarely recompensed for STD tests? Ya think?

A porn star’s charm, accessibility, and popularity all factor into the public’s desire to meet her (or him), and many websites cater to porn star/regular joe hookups (in light of the recent Rentboy bust, though, I shan’t list any). Suffice to say that a performer can supplement and exceed her porn income by hooking up with members of the general public.

Why fuck a porn star rather than your hot bank teller? Because fame attracts fame and there is a momentary honeymoon bubble where the two of you are united in secrecy. But whereas secrecy would be a commodity to Duggar, for whom sex is shameful, it is a drag for someone like Dillon, for whom it is a celebration at most and a meal ticket at fucking least.

For someone like Tiger Woods and his transactional arrangement with the stunning Joslyn James, I sure hope the sex was worth it. There’s a taboo and a danger to having an affair with someone who could so easily blow one’s cover, all of which is thrilling right up until the cover is blown. And it always is.

Celebrities: If you have sex with a porn star, she will let the world know about it. Understand that your attraction to her fame is the most mutual attraction you will ever have. For her, fame is a drug that more adequately compensates her for having sex with you, as $2100 is not a living wage for silence.

A possible alternative to this is going the Charlie Sheen route. Having Bree Olson and Bret Rossi and Celeste Star and Chloe Jones on retainer takes the wind from the sails of people who would publicly shame one for cavorting with women who have sex for a living and are really good at it.

In the meantime, if you ever want to have sex with a porn star, ask yourself one question: Will it ever be to her advantage that other people know? If the answer is Yes, you do not have enough money to purchase her secrecy.

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