Today in Porn Talent: Taylor May (And Just Might)

I’ve heard some great porn origin stories that involved women being discovered at the Chatsworth train station (sadly, it didn’t last) or whilst stepping off an actual Greyhound bus in Hollywood. Those were the days. Today, porn talent agencies send out emails announcing who is in town and what she might do for the right price, sort of like that scene in “The Sting.” What better way to resurrect an old chestnut feature than with the dusky Taylor May?

Well, let’s begin with what Taylor Does.

The 5’5″ 21-year-old, signed with Shy Love’s VIP Connect agency, is available for Boy/Boy/Girl, Boy/Girl, Boy/Girl/Girl, Blowjob, Deep Throat, Flexible (I assume this means she is physically bendy if not open to differing views on gun control or a woman’s right to choose), Girl/Girl, Group, Solo – w/Toys. Squirts, Stills (photo stills, but I’m assuming if Crosby, Nash, and Young wanted in, something could be arranged), Store Signings, Swallow, Teen (she can play a teen, just like I can play Asian), and Webcam.

Do you wonder, like I once did, how a menu of things someone might do, divorced from references or examples of how well she does them, counts as a resume?

The above is an image from one of two movies Ms. May has on her resume, Digital Sin’s “My Sister Has A Tight Pussy 3.” In the video she appears to have demonstrated familiarity with two of the line items on her skills list. Her other movie on Gamelink, Lethal Hardcore’s “These Lesbos Are Strapped #2,” demonstrates her willingness to be penetrated by another woman — the purest form of intimacy that doesn’t involve the risk of pregnancy.

But what if one could get pregnant from a dildo, like in that apocryphal story from the Civil War in which a bullet passed through the testicle of a soldier on the battlefield and lodged in the ladyparts of a spectator, thus impregnating her?

Miracle of miracles, I just remembered reading that story, looked it up on Snopes.com, and recognized the very 1982 Dear Abby column I’d read it in. Little did I know that, the age of Our Lord later, I would be able to use this information to speculate about the dildo pregnancy of a woman I’ve never met.

In any case, Taylor May not be a Civil War reenactor, but here’s hoping she can squirt like the very fountains of our nation’s indivisibility.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Larine Laroshe—passive-aggressive with vampires
See also: Taylor May at VIP Connect