Chanel Preston fulfills the promise made by Olivia Hussey (and ignored by Clare Danes) in Lee Roy Myers’ couples’-friendly “Romeo & Juliet.” Studio: DreamZone Director: Lee Roy Myers Starring: Rocco Reed, Chanel Preston, Andy San Dimas, Anthony Rosano, Ann Marie Rios, Brian Street Team, India Summer, Tom Byron You can rest assured that Lee Roy [...]

I have seen Hustler’s “Busty Beauties: Top Shelf Titties” and I think it’s a winner, but Damn: If I didn’t get it for free, the whole Student Loan infrastructure would turn over in its grave if I shelled out cash for pornography with a spelling error on it.

So much better than “Filthy Fellating Fetuses.”

There may be those who disagree with my calling Alexis Texas zaftig, as if I’m trying to call her fat, but I’m not. Zaftig means juicy, goddammit, and Texas is juicy.

“I agree that there is a lot of pusssy, but surely that can’t be all that’s down here. Hold on—I’ll check.”

I may not want to live in a post-apocalyptic world that shuns breeders like me, but I admit that these people seem to be having a good time

Points added that the Fonz shows up? Yes. And that he makes a Jump the Shark reference? Sure. But to what end?

This movie delivers exactly what the title promises

It’s important to learn how to read

…And at no point does the wild spray of semen land anywhere near where conception can occur, even the extra-wide strike zone that is the Mind of God.

If you wonder how porn movies that are less-than-slam dunks make money, join the club.

“We all get fucked for money one way or the other, right?”

I defy you to tell me why switching the boxcovers of “Gangbang Extreme Teens” and “Fuck the Babysitter” would make a damn bit of difference.

Audrey Hollander is having sex for money legally by playing someone having sex for money illegally.

One reason Belladonna is so beloved is that she drives to you

I’m just saying.

Suspend your disbelief for a moment and try to imagine a world in which prostitutes can be unethical

In “Hollywood Sex Wars” like Charlie Sheen, I’m not sure what winning is supposed to look like

For reasons unexplained aside from the fact that she is impossibly hot and can do whatever crosses her mind, sassy Brit Ashley decides to go to America to find a husband.

I would be happy to impregnate Lisa Ann for a modest fee so that her next MILF movie is an honest one.