PORN VALLEY, Calif.(GP:PVO) — Naked Asian women performing sexual acts on themselves, each other, and even partially obscured men has been advanced as a potentially lucrative niche in the adult entertainment industry, sources say.
“I’ve always liked breasts,” said machinist Ken Dickinson, 40. “It was like a holy revelation to me that Asians had them as well.”
Indeed, say experts, Asian women have each of the five separate pieces of anatomy most coveted by porn consumers, as well as mouths, dubbed by Newsweek an “emerging blowjob apparatus.”
“This is the most significant discovery since the MILF/Cougar DNA string was mapped,” said Loup Perch-Tounge, Science Officer of the Chatsworth Institute, an unintentionally not-for-profit Porn Valley think tank.
“There were rumblings in the research community that when Latinas were also found to meet our requirements that there might be some undiscovered porn ethnicities out there,” Perch-Tounge added, “but frankly we were way off. We just kept dressing up old women like schoolgirls.”
A cache of “Asian porn” was discovered on the InterWeb, featuring Tia Tanaka, Destiny, Kimmy Kahn, and Loni.
“It’s like they’re black but Asian,” said porn consumer Susie Ehrdinger, 23, “or that they’re hot nurses, but Asian.”
“Or Latina schoolgirl MILFs, but Asian,” said Gram Ponante, America’s Beloved Porn Journalist.
With the news that Asian women perform all the fleshly services traditionally provided by white women and your mom, foot and vehicle traffic has increased in Asian communities across the United States.
“I used to come to Koreatown for the barbecue,” said Los Angeles resident Delroy Esquivel, a city planner. “Now I just want to fuck everybody.”
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Japanese porn exporters put their money where the mosaic is
See also: Happy Asian porn for viewing OK
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