The Skylar Neil Memorial Golf Tournament raised more than $75,000 this year for cancer-related research with a silent auction following a windy golf tourney over 36 holes.
Any event that auctions a Jagermeister tap machine as well as Iron Maiden’s RIAA platinum award for “The Number of the Beast” is all right by me.
Vince Neil, frontman of Motley Crue and father to the event’s late namesake, has presided over this tournament for over a decade, raising more than $1 million with this event as well as poker tournaments and cruises.
Charity is made easier by the recognized drawing power of women who become naked in various media.
As an avid duffer with a handicap of (I can’t even finish this sentence because I know so little about golf), I know well the soothing effect porn stars staffing the, er, holes have on weary golfers exhausted by hitting balls across the grass while drunk.
I have previously only seen golf cart crashes on Jackass. I saw three of them here. No one was hurt. It became clear to me how important golf courses are for the maintenance of our nation’s drunk drivers; if they can be kept off the roads and allowed to run free on our golf courses in harmless electric carts, I say tear down affordable housing and build more PGA-rated courses.
The reaction of various golfers to people like the awesome Marie Luv was priceless. At the Red Light District table, attended by Tricia Devereaux, Sasha Grey, and Luv, foursomes approached gingerly, laughing loudly at titles like Gang Bang My Face and trying to take more than one copy.
One guy made the following joke nine times (we counted):
“Hey, this is perfect for my wife for Mother’s Day.”
Get it? If so, think how funny it must have been the other eight times!
I was very impressed with the Jagermeister booth. Very impressed. I stayed there for, I think, eleven hours. Cultural difference? What I call a Deer Hunter they call a Jager Bomb. But we learned to live together.
As you can see, where Budweiser employs Clydesdales, Jagermeister uses women with furry shoes. I have nothing against horses, but …
I was not able to visit all of the tees because the tournament was spread over two massive courses at the Lost Hills Golf Club in Simi Valley but, just like in pioneer times, little pockets of porn talent nestled here and there, keeping each other warm the only way they knew how, and protecting themselves from interlopers and, I guess, French trappers.
It was a good time for a good cause; all the porn talent donated their time and promoted their companies on an often-blustery day in the windswept desert hills. The loss of Skylar Neil, recounted here, has resulted in hundreds of thousands of dollars of donations to cancer research.
See a gallery here.
Previously: Tees and T&A for Skylar Neil; Skylar Neil Memorial Golf Tournament (2006)
See also: Skylar Neil Memorial Fund, Motley Crue
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