Since I live porn, and inspire it, I don’t have the chance to watch it for 48 hours straight, like a friend from my home town recently did. I sent my old friend Sherman a box of titles a month ago and he got back to me this morning. He sounded tired.
“I can’t thank you enough, man,” he said. “Where do they get those girls?”
I didn’t know what he was talking about. Last time we spoke, he told me about how there were Cambodians delivering his mail.
“The Post Office is hiring Cambodian girls?” I asked.
“No,” he said. “Red Light District. Where do they get those girls? They blow my mind. Then I blow a load.”
“Who do you like best?” I asked.
“Well, that Lorena Sanchez seems very nice,” Sherman said. “She could work as a hostess in an upscale restaurant.”
“Yes,” I said. “She’s very clean.”
“But Red Light is very generous,” he said. “They send out bonus discs and sometimes the bonus movies are better than the ones that, you know, on the box – “
” – the titles they advertise? – “
“The first discs in there. Like, this one was I’ve Been Sodomized 4. I liked it – “
“I’ve Been Sodomized is one of my favorite porn titles,” I said. “It sounds like the first thing you’d say to a 911 operator.”
” – but the bonus disc was called Fill Her Up,” he said. “And there were these Czech chicks, and they were clearly not having a good time.”
“Why did you like that?” I asked.
“Because it looked real,” he said. “These Czech guys blow their loads onto this girl Nina’s ass and she drips it onto her face. As the tape ends she looks like she’s about to run to the bathroom to throw up.”
Red Light’s double discs are grab bags. A company employee says that the bonus discs are often the first thing available and may change depending on which box a consumer buys.
“The customers loved this but the distributors were not willing to pay the added $1.00 we asked to offset the box size/cost/packaging costs, and the stores did not like them because of the thickness of the new packaging since they took up more shelf space.” he said. ” We thought of that and hoped to sell more because of the bonus DVD and reduce shelf space for other competitors, but that didn’t work out.”
Sherman and I attended sixth grade together. If our art teacher, Mrs. Pappas, only knew of Sherman’s newfound appreciation for realism, she’d probably regret having given him a C for throwing paste.
Previously: Here’s the story of 50 lovely ladies; You can’t tell Lorena Sanchez anything when she gets this way
See also: Red Light District
Leave a Reply