Kinky Cock-Tales

Studio: Jazmin Media/Ninnworx
Director: Jazmin Jones
Cast: Stacey Silver, Zoe, Daria Glower, Tarra White, Ashley Robins, Victoria Rose, Sandra, Natalli Di Angelo

Portions of this review originally appeared on Fleshbot

“At a wine bar near you, six frends gather to share erotic stories.”

So begins Jazmin Media’s “Kinky Cock-Tales”, a couples’ film featuring many beautiful Euro models (none of whom is identified) acting out the tales of your wine-besotted friends. As you can imagine, there is a smoky-voiced narratrix who tries mightily to unsexify the proceedings, and she nearly does, finally being thwarted by my mute button.

Allegedly one of Jazmin Media’s selling points is the UK-based company’s attention to music; husband and wife team Marcus and Jazmin craft scenes according to the music she has written. While the soundtrack does not get in the way, it is not the high point of this movie. Rather, the competent and often*-unsparing camera work more than compensates for the narration and busy post-production effects that take away from the movie while attempting to make it seem “classy”.

*Experimenting with split screens, double images, and picture-in-picture effects, the filmmakers forget that the viewer wants to see parts made bigger, not smaller.

My favorite scene was the first one, starring a woman who reminded me of Hope Davis had “Next Stop, Wonderland” not panned out.

The Classics Professor’s tale involved two Roman dudes, Julius and Maximus, hanging around the baths. They see a woman emerge from the water and abide by the When in Rome rule.

Other vignettes involve trysts at the gym, a Sapphic encounter, and a last-fling-before-the-wedding liaison that thankfully takes no cues from Screech.

I admit that I was prejudiced against this film immediately upon hearing the phrase “wine bar”. That and the NPR food critic narration made me become adept at fast-forwarding. Still, aside from the setups, the fact that there is no real kink involved, and the utter absence of a cock in one scene, “Kinky Cock-Tales” is worthwhile without the sound.