If you cringe with indignation that “Not Pan-Am” is just a crass repackaging of 2009’s “Airplane!” parody “Flight Attendants,” you had better get out of your own glass house, Billy Joel, because this latest venture by X-Play is part of a long and respected Porn Valley tradition.
Directed by master porn huckster Will Ryder, “Not Pan-Am XXX” is to be released October 25 with a boxcover and cast eerily and exactly similar, respectively, to his 2009 film “Flight Attendants” which, after winning AVN’s Best Comedy award in 2010, was renamed “Not Airplane! XXX: Flight Attendants.”
“It’s a brand new movie,” Ryder insists, though Kross has been an exclusive performer with Digital Playground for the past two years (long before ABC’s “Pan-Am” was announced), and several castmembers, including Sunny Lane and Randy Spears, are no longer in porn.
Porn Valley repackages content all the time. The only difference in this case is that Ryder says he hasn’t.
For example, I just reviewed, for the venerable site Fleshbot, a JM Video called “I Want You To Make My Mouth Pregnant.” It contained 60 2-minute scenes of brutal, demoralizing blowjobs. Do you think 60 couples were paid an average of $800 a pair to shoot this movie last June? Hell no. Who has a $48,000 talent budget aside from Charlie Sheen? These scenes were culled from dozens of movies shot over the past ten years.
Ditto for roughly half of the movies I receive every month. All savvily-compiled tributes to teens, Asians, girls with big boobs or nice asses, or milves. A smart company files away its 2007 Lisa Ann blowjob scene from “Brunettes in Heat” and repurposes it four years later in its 4-hour comp “Saucy Milves.”
I imagine that “Not Pan-Am” will contain some unreleased “Flight Attendants” footage—perhaps of the brilliant James Bartholet—as well as new credits. Will there be hastily-added non-sex footage to suggest ABC’s new “Pan-Am”? Who has the money?
Ryder (whose name is for some reason misspelled on the poster) states in a press release that he guesses “you could call this a sequel or sorts” [sic]. Yes. Or sorts. If by “sequel” you mean “we changed the boxcover and are including footage we deemed not worthy of the first one.”
I applaud X-Play for the chutzpah it requires to continue distributing “Flight Attendants” through Adam & Eve and taking basically the same movie and releasing it through Digital Sin. They have every right to do it and I hope it sells well.
If only any of them were good movies.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: “Flight Attendants” review; “Plant Your Wood” is good for MILF Earth
See also: Sitcums
‘and several castmembers, including Sunny Lane and Randy Spears, are no longer in porn. ”
Oh ! has Randy Spears retired? wot’s he doing now then?
Wow – just when I thought I couldn’t be more surprised or dismayed at the laziness of porn and the people that sell it, along comes this little gem. Re-repackaging a bad film that, although I adore several femmes in the movie, I avoided like the plague due to the universally-horrible reviews of it (including your own), just to capitalize on a new IP is simply pathetic. Too bad, because a well-thought-out (ha! porn?) parody of the show could actually be quite entertaining. Yet another case of porn cutting off its tits to spite its ass… or something. I expected better from A&E and Will Ryder.
Lol, well, if there’s a sucker born every minute, why not sell them some porn to pass the time with?
Once again Gram blasts more hatred towards me on something he knows absolutely nothing about. I wrote Gram a long email last night stating that he was off base but of course he has no balls to publish it. Not Pan Am XXX is in fact a brand new movie that has never been released. Not a single frame is from Flight Attendants. There is a new script, a new story, all new sex scenes. The only thing connecting it to Flight Attendants is that we shot it over the same two week period. We have done the same shooting schedule with major hits like Not the Cosbys XXX and Not Married with Children XXX. All sequels but brand new movies. Maybe the words ‘brand new’ is not appropriate since we have been sitting on the movie for many months due to legal issues but this is not a comp or a repackaging or a recycling of anything suggested by Gram. Both movies combined cost over $100,000 which is a hell of a lot of money in the porn world. Gram please have the balls and publish my email so your readers can learn the truth but of course that really isn’t your cowardly style is it? Not sure why Gram has it in for me but boy he sure does. He doesn’t like me and I guess the feeling is getting quite mutual. Will Ryder.
Lastly to Christopher, Flight Attendants got rave reviews except from Gram when he called it the worst movie since the Nazi propaganda films or something horrible like that. Flight Attendants when on to win the 2010 AVN Award for Best Comedy so many thought it was pretty funny and yes packed with hot girls. If you haven’t seen something it might be best to give it a chance before you jump to poorly informed conclusions. Christopher, I will be happy to send you a free copy of Flight Attendants if you email me back and let me know what you thought of it. Email me at jeff@allmediaplay.com I might be Will Ryder but many also know me as Jeff Mullen. I am not a bad guy and I certainly do not put out a lazy effort in a movie ever. Thanks and take me up on my offer.
When, this morning around 12:10, I saw that you had sent one of your wonderful letters, Jeff, my phone only displayed the first line: “Hello Gram, Although I have not read your story on our upcoming release Not PAN…” I decided not to read the rest. It seemed as useless, let’s say, as making a movie two years ago and releasing it as a parody of something that didn’t exist when you made it.
It doesn’t make good reading to take apart your comments here point by point (and with the ridiculous porn feuds going on right now, it would just exhaust me), but I don’t hate you or your movies, I just call bullshit on your advertising this movie as “new.” It’s not new. You are lying when you say it. And, had you read my article, you’d see I went out of my way to say that “Flight Attendants” had won an award from AVN. While I linked to my original review (and that’s the only time you’ll see “original” in the same sentence as “Flight Attendants,”) I didn’t heap hatred on it. I know you and Will are sensitive artists, Jeff, but someone thinking you did a shitty job isn’t the same as someone hating you.
Christopher (if you’re still with us at this point), I’m sorry you were thrown in the middle of this discussion. I can assure you that Jeff WILL send you a copy of his movie. Maybe if you ask nicely, he will also send you his “Married with Children,” which I thought was the good one.
As a general housekeeping note, this is my site and I am under no obligation to print or approve anything, including poorly-worded letters. Your interest in my balls notwithstanding, Jeff, if you write something worthwhile, I’ll print it.
Mommy and daddy – stop fighting! I’ll be good!
*ahem*
Anywhom, to Mr Mullen – I fully appreciate your offer, but I don’t want to set a precedent – I’ll take your word for it, and spend my own time/money/whatever in acquiring Flight Attendants. Fact of the matter is, it would take me MONTHS, if not YEARS, in getting to it, as my porn backlog is rather… ummmm… full, and my porn viewing time is short. It literally takes me weeks to get through a porn film, and it would be patently unfair to you to keep you hanging on, waiting for a review from the unkempt masses.
I enjoy your work, though – thus my disappointment expressed above. If Not Pan AM XXX is, indeed, a completely new property, and from your post here, I have no real reason to doubt otherwise, then I owe you an apology, because I really have enjoyed a LOT of your other films, and will, in turn, look forward to this one.
Now… can’t we all just get along?
[I had to redact this comment because it would have made Mr. Mullen seem as if he were protesting too much, and I try to protect people from themselves when I can – Gram]