Since press releases do the job too slowly, members of the adult media will be killed off via an ingenious conference call this Wednesday.
“Members of the media, due to an overwhelming response here is your opportunity to learn more about the First Annual F.A.M.E (Fans of Adult Media & Entertainment) Awards,” the release reads, prompting people left in the dark by previous releases to join a conference call.
According to sources, an electronic pulse will be sent through phone lines as soon as the cynical adult media are hooked in, frying their cortical circuitry.
“No more pesky blogs!” one mogul said, clutching fistfuls of cash, lube samples, and Greyhound tickets.
While tacitly acknowledging by announcing a conference call that their version of the printed word has little to no validity, the victory for skeptical alternative media types will be Pyrrhic in that they will be dead.
In addition to killing off the dubious, the conference call will announce the hosts of the awards show, slated for June 24.
Previously: FAME awards update; Yet more awards
See also: FAME Awards, Adam & Eve, WantedList
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