So many of those “Win a Date with a Porn Star” contests go south (literally – the “porn star” usually turns out to be Mike South) that it was heartwarming to see that Lethal Hardcore came through on its “Win A Date with Sunny Lane” contest.
The winner, it turns out, was adult message board contributor Jon from Arizona, pictured here outside the place the two went to see Ted Nugent.
Gary “Cars” Numan was also performing. Why did Lethal Hardcore owner Stoney Curtis choose the Motor City Madman instead?
“‘When in doubt/I whip it out’ is more appealing than ‘Here in my car/I can lock all my doors’ to Lethal Hardcore’s aggressive, take-charge audience,” said spokesmodel Wayne Hentai.
“And might Jon’s involvement as a reviewer in the online adult community have had anything to do with his winning the date?” I asked, probing.
“No,” Hentai replied, “Stoney didn’t know.”
Jon woke up at dawn’s crack on February 22 to write the following Lane-snagging essay:
Love is probably the wrong word…lust fits in nicely. Like too. But one thing I love about Sunny is her passion with which she shoots a scene. I never feel like she\’s \”faking\” it. The smile and enthusiasm she brings to porn are both very appreciated by me and I hope she\’s around for quite a while.
I find this essay suspect, because it closely resembles the following “My Hero” essay young Gramito Ponante wrote in third grade:
Michael Jordan\’s contributions to athletics are very much appreciated by me. The smile and enthusiasm he brings to the NBA are also very much appreciated (by me). I hope \”Air Jordan\” is around for quite a while.
I never did date Michael Jordan, much less Gary Numan.
Previously: The Playboy Mansion in a nutshell; Pegging the man-flower; Tyler Faith to make one thing clear; I will call him “George”
See also: Lethal Hardcore, AdultDVDTalk, Sunny Lane
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