Earthquake Rocks "Couples’ Porn Valley"

An earthquake registering 5.8 on the Richter scale shocked California’s San Bernardino and Riverside Counties this morning at 11:42, causing buildings to sway as far away as Las Vegas and sending pens and Jenna Jameson’s Temptation Award crashing to the floor at Gram Ponante Towers, Aviary, Salmon Hatchery, Heliport, and Yurt in downtown Los Angeles.

But the Chino Hills-centered quake erupted closest to the compounds of Michael Ninn and Kelly Madison, two porn producers in this area southeast of Los Angeles dubbed “Couples’ Porn Valley” for its emphasis on content that ostensibly makes women feel OK about watching porn with their husbands or boyfriends.

Aerial photographs of the paddock in which Ninn once kept a herd of contract girls including Cassidey and Jana Jordan revealed that no significant damage had been done, and that the rolling and swinging characteristic of Southern California earthquakes had little effect on the swinging Kelly Madison was doing already.

Neither was available for comment as local forecasters predicted aftershocks that could measure up to 4.2.

Today’s 5.8 quake was the strongest in the area since the devastating Northridge quake of 1994, which accordioned bridges, sent property values hellward, and was largely responsible for the proliferation of porn companies in the northwest San Fernando Valley around the epicenter.

Applied seismologist Lex Luthor does not believe that the magnitude of today’s earthquake was sufficient to cause porn companies to seek property in the Chino/Norco/Corona area. But he does predict that a general aura of seediness and God’s Wrath will be a boon for the adult industry.

“Everybody has faults,” he said. “Mine’s in California.”

Outside his office in downtown L.A., Ponante said he didn’t feel a thing, and lamented his lack of sensitivity.

“Must be because I’m circumcised,” he said.

Previously: Kelly Madison: Have wristband, will travel; Ninn looks for a more congenial spot
See also: Earthquake Jolts Los Angeles; Michael Ninn, Kelly Madison

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