Get Smartass!

Studio: Hustler
Director: Stuart Canterbury
Cast: Kayla Paige, Veronica Rayne, Britney Amber, Eden Adams, Veronica Jett, Envi, Eric Swiss, Rod Fontana, Tony De Sergio, Dino Bravo

by GramPonante.com Guest Reviewer Chauncey Boyd

Get Smartass does an admirable job of matching the whimsical tone of the Get Smart franchise. As a knock-off, it’s closer to the 1965 Mel Brooks/Buck Henry series starring Don Adams than to the 2008 feature starring Steve Carell.

And that’s a good thing.

Here, the evil organization KAOS has become PENIS, and the good guys at CONTROL now work for KUNTROL. At the outset, PENIS has learned the identities of all the KUNTROL agents, seducing and sedating them one by one. Unfortunate for KUNTROL, fortunate for us. It’s up to Max (Dino Bravo) and Agent 69 (Veronica Rayne) to save the day.

For viewers familiar with the Get Smart series (and, really, why watch this if you aren’t) the plot of Get Smartass will seem surprisingly…spot on.

First to fall is Larabutt (Eric Swiss), seduced by the lovely Kayla Paige. She takes charge in the sack, in what will become a theme in the film: women seducing men. At least Larabutt manages to fit a few extra fingers inside Kayla before climaxing and passing out. Sure, his fall may be drug induced but, since I once fell asleep on top of my girlfriend after sex, it all makes sense to me.

Chief (Rod Fontana) is quickly seduced by blond cutie Britney Amber, who unintentionally could pass as his daughter, but who handles his thick member like a pro. Again, the women are in charge as the two sweat it up.

With agents falling one-by-one, Maxwell’s plan is to let himself get seduced but not sedated. Unfortunately for Max, he’s no match for temptress Veronica Jett, who seduces him like the others. And that’s the problem with Get Smartass; the girl-seduces-guy theme gets repeated over and over. Different girl. Different guy. Same scenario.

Two natural-breasted blondes give us a quick break from formula when they use each other’s thin bodies to practice their seduction techniques.. But then it’s back to formula when Agent 69 does double agent work to seduce evil boss Dr. Ho. Of course, Agent 69 quickly assumes her namesake sexual position in her quest to save the day.

Too bad more thought hadn’t gone into varying the sexual scenarios, but clearly much thought went into the rest of the film. The actors look their parts, and Dino Bravo does an impressive Don Adams. The filmmakers pay attention to wardrobe (right down to Max’s updated shoe phone), quirky music, and lighting, which is often stylish and sometimes flattering. Sure the hallway set in the opening sequence may be constructed out of cardboard, but you have to give director Stuart Canterbury an A for effort. Only Rod Fontana’s unexplained finger splint was a distraction, but the inappropriateness of it proves the point that the rest of the film, as a whole, works.