Close personal friend Hollie Stevens just kept not showing up at Saturday’s Girls & Corpses Halloween party. She was supposed to arrive with Stanton LaVey, grandson of Anton Szandor LaVey, founder of the Church of Satan. All I wanted was LaVey’s famous family barbecue recipe, and I waited for hours.
“We got there at 10,” Stevens said by way of apology. “We were distracted by seeing Carrie at the Hollywood Cemetery.”
Seriously, that’s like the Etruscan Ponante clan going to Olive Garden for dinner. You’d think it would be non-stop pig’s blood and Stephen King movies in the cemetery at the LaVey house.
So as I waited around I spied Mistress Genevieve, a sporty dominatrix in a weapons-grade corset.
“The last time I saw you, you had a pencil up your nose,” I said.
“It was a stylus,” she said.
Maybe because Marilyn Chambers was in close proximity and I was thinking about old-tymey porn movies, the thought of Mistress Genevieve with a stylus up her nose made me think of Deep Throat, in which Linda Lovelace’s clitoris is in her throat, thus the need to “deep throat” Harry Reems (it’s important people know that porn movies once required motivation).
Replace Linda Lovelace with Mistress Genevieve, clitoris with Palm Pilot, cock with stylus, and throat with nose, and you’ve got another generation-defining movie: A woman who can only access her calendar and contacts nasally.
And because it’s the end of the month, you can have that idea. There’s no money in porn anyway.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Gia Paloma’s fan letter; Sort of Inside Deep Throat; Hollie Stevens dodges a bullet; Images of Heaven (that take me to Hell)
See also: Mistress Genevieve
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