New copy of XBiz World contains mousepad

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Adult industry trade journal XBizWorld this month included a mousepad with its 130-page magazine, confusing a number of subscribers.

“I don’t know what kind of message they’re trying to send,” said Porfirio B. of GoateeCash, the pornography business’ most popular affiliate program.

“Am I supposed to read the magazine or scan it into my computer and then read it on my computer?”

The adult industry is contending with a steep drop in DVD sales, and ad rates for its print publications are falling. XBiz employees say that including the mousepad was a means of recognizing that people who read often use their computers, too.

“We really need to get to all aspects of the marketplace,” publisher Tom Hymes said, but not in relation to this story.

But some people feel that a mousepad in the age of optical mice, smartphones, and Nintendo’s Wii are an anchor in the past, or worse, a piece of swag cluttering up the office that it didn’t cost the company any extra to ship.

“Will I get an 8-track player in the next issue? How about a 3/4″ floppy drive? I’m surprised I didn’t get a PS/2 mouse in there. What are they, cheap?” groused Loup Perch-Tounge, spokesman for the Canoga Park Gaping Commission, an industry think tank.

“No, we’re just – What? Jesus. We just thought it would be a good idea to include a frigging mousepad,” a source within XBiz claimed. “(The mousepad) was free. Why don’t you start a {expletive deleted} thread on (adult industry chatboard] GFY about it?”

XBizWorld often depicts adult industry personalities in full-page ads reading the magazine, as if to say “Adult industry personalities can read”. This month’s XBizWorld features America’s Beloved Porn Journalist, Gram Ponante, striking a thoughtful pose with the new mousepad.

“Whenever I’m not saying whatever I want with impunity or getting in street brawls,” Ponante said, “I usually have other people type for me. Still, (the mousepad is) a nice shade of blue, and if you light it on fire, it sort of smells like the City of Industry.”

Previously: XBiz relaunch: Something about Statue of Liberty, Van Halen; Rotten, “Too Close for Comfort” star rift worsens; XFanz to stage erotica festival, perhaps erotically
See also: XBiz