“Flashpoint X”: Back(draft) to the Future

Nothing pornographic, just Jenna Jameson, circa 1998.

In 2007, Wicked released a tenth anniversary edition of its 1998 movie “Flashpoint.” Calling it “Flashpoint X,” the extra year was for flavor.

I suppose the only reason Wicked had to release a tenth anniversary edition of Flashpoint a year early was that it just couldn’t wait. I forget if there is an AVN award for Best Packaging, but if there is, this four-disc set should get it.

However:

Brad Armstrong presents Jenna Jameson in the 10 year anniversary edition of the mega-budget flick that delivers blistering sex and wild action scenes. Stunning pyrotechnics, incredible locations, and the most awesomely beautiful and daringly decadent cast of performers will blaze across your screen.

…reads the boxcover copy. Friends, if your sex is blistering, first call a doctor, and then an attorney. Sex should never be blistering.

Regardless, this prestige porn of its time is as good or better than any similarly-scaled contemporary movie. And don’t forget that Flashpoint boasts the talents of Jameson, Jill Kelly, and Asia Carrera at their full juiciness. There are other surprises, too.

There’s former AVN writer Mike Albo as a priest. Looking very Michael Chiklis-like in his pre-millennial hairlessness, Albo delivers the Lord’s Prayer like the hellhounds are on his trail. The only downside of this movie is that the acting and dialogue are otherwise uniformly porny. I expected more from such a huge budget, but everything else is great.

The only AVN award Flashpoint received when it was released was for Marketing, yet Wicked and online retailer AdultDVDEmpire claim it to be a consistently strong seller for the company, hence the discontinuance of the original and its replacement by the deluxe version.

Read the review here.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Porn of the Ancient World—”Body Heat”
See also: Wicked

Cui Boner or: AVN is like a Rolling Stone

Ain’t it hard to discover that/He ain’t really where it’s at/After he took from you everything he could steal?/How does it feel? – Bob Dylan

I got a message from a colleague who happens to work at an adult trade publication. “This is ripe for your site, Gram,” stated the colleague, attaching several meticulously scanned side-by-side images of the redesigned AVN magazine with Rolling Stone.

“I can’t image the editors at RS – not to mention their legal team – aren’t taking a long hard look at this and deciding how to proceed legally,” the colleague went on. “Borrowing some design elements is one thing, outright duplication is another.”

I looked at the images and was indeed impressed by how well AVN’s designers seemed to be stealing from the best, in the same way I am intrigued by how methodically cross-town rival XBiz has appropriated AVN’s properties, market share, ideas, and former employees for their own purposes (although, to be fair, they modeled their magazine layouts on Variety).

Everyone to whom I mentioned the AVN/Rolling Stone images knew what I was talking about because they’d received them, too. In fact, the side by side photos had been very well prepared for this sort of media dissemination. I had to try to make them look worse just so I could feel I wasn’t being spoonfed a smear story.

That’s all right, though. As long as everyone is having a good time and no one is getting hurt or lied to.

Had AVN existed in 1980, doubtless John and Yoko would have high-tailed it to Chatsworth for this photoshoot and saved the nation a senseless murder.


Forgetting for a moment that I work within the adult industry (many, in fact, say that I am the guiding force behind it, and the inspiration for its raw sexuality) and as sensitive as I am to its many lifts, forgeries, and thefts, I gotta say that AVN’s new magazine design looks awesome.

If I wanted to know about porn and didn’t have access to a computer (according to U.S. Census data, men over 70 are a fast-growing part of the population, and these men would have been in their prime cultural absorption years when Rolling Stone was founded in 1969), I would definitely pick up the new AVN magazine, especially with that sassy whippersnapper Sasha Grey on it.

This is the best shot, I think, in that an Eon McKai movie is reviewed in AVN while people who look like Eon McKai’s impression of himself are profiled in Rolling Stone. I think the world is collapsing on itself.

When I get an e-mail from someone whose intent is to shame, defame, or otherwise injure someone else, I rarely print the story, especially when the Cui Bono? looms so large. But here I figure it’s OK, as long as XBiz doesn’t suddenly look like Spin in its next issue.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: AVN sends employees, lawsuit to XBiz; Artists become ambitious as porn implosion nears
See also: avn, xbiz

AVN sends employees, lawsuit to XBiz

AVN yesterday filed suit in Los Angeles Superior Court against rival XBiz, claiming the upstart adult trade publication misappropriated trade secrets and generated unfair competition in its poaching of sales director Sara Sazzman last month.

Both outfits have shed employees lately but, aside from ronin porn scribe Tom Hymes, the migration has always been from Chatsworth’s AVN to Hancock Park’s XBiz, which might as well change its name to AVN South.

In a March 25 letter to advertisers following Sazzman’s desertion, AVN president Paul Fishbein cautioned them to not believe the hype:

As you may have heard, Sara Sazzman has left AVN and begun employment with XBIZ.

While we wish her the best in her new position, I must take issue with information that Sara is sending to people in the industry. She says, “XBIZ has the same reach (as AVN) for less.” I believe this statement is patently false.

Attached, please see our audited circulation statement, which proves AVN’s circulation of over 18,000 qualified B2B readers per month. During her employment with AVN, Sara herself has pointed out our audited circulation figures, compared with XBIZ and their lack of an audited circulation. I strongly urge you to ask Sara for comparative circulation data before you accept a sales pitch based on false information.

For over 26 years, AVN has worked diligently to provide retailers, chain stores, adult book stores, wholesale distributors, VOD companies, foreign sales brokers, cable operators the most objective reviews, legal information and marketing information available, while spending the proper time, money and skill to qualify our readers. We know that AVN gets into the hands of those people making the buying decisions, which affects your bottom line.

While I am calling most of you individually, I want to let you know that I will be taking over Sara’s duties and handling most of sales for AVN myself. This way, I can speak to all of you on a regular basis, assess your needs and help you with marketing plans that are not only the most effective for you, but also the most cost-effective as well

Unnamed XBiz counsel reportedly responded to the 8-count lawsuit dismissively, simultaneously vowing to fight it.

“Clearly AVN is trying to tarnish XBIZ’s reputation to stem the tide of its diminishing marketshare,” XBIZ counsel said.

Clearly XBiz is on the ascendancy and, as Fishbein himself has said, market factors require AVN to be more competitive. While this doesn’t necessarily mean “diminishing marketshare,” for the Porn Valley institution, it does set the stage for a slugfest on even ground.

I don’t think this lawsuit will go anywhere other than to compel both companies to tighten their (mostly unenforceable) Non-Compete and Non-Disclosure Agreements.

It is moot anyway; I intend to purchase both companies and house them in the Playboy Mansion.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Benchmarking adult award shows; Expanded XBiz Awards categories still a fraction of AVN’s
See also: XBiz served with lawsuit from rival AVN

XBiz releases tell-all book

Sassy adult trade publication ingenue XBiz has released its titillating expose’ of the porn world, The State of the Industry: Researched And Revealed. I breathlessly rang up XBiz president Alec Helmy and asked him the questions on everyone’s mind.

Gram: Why This, Why Now?

Helmy: The idea was inspired by the fact that a professional-level market study had never been conducted before. We also set out to study and report on the most significant trends impacting the industry today. The project took close to a year to fully execute.

Gram: Consumers can spend either $280 or $470 for this publication. What is the difference between the deluxe report and the summary (please say more nudity)?

Helmy: The Full edition is over 200 pages and goes into far greater detail than the Executive edition. (There are) more charts, graphs, and data filters (in the Full edition). (See preview here.)

At 200 pages and $470, the Full edition carries a greater page value, at $2.35 a page. The 35-page Executive edition costs $8 a page. That’s a $5.65 savings from every page plus, as Helmy pointed out, more charts, graphs, and data filters. One could take those charts, graphs, and data filters to Starbucks and easily purchase 190 pages’ worth of venti lattes with the savings.

Gram: I haven’t read more than the table of contents. Would you say there are useful surprises?

Helmy: The report reinforces what we’ve been reading/hearing about the state of the industry. What makes the content unique is that it’s purely based on the adult business community’s response to our market study survey questions.

Gram: Is there any sector of the population less trustworthy than the adult business community?

Luckily, Sarah LoPrinzi of “XBiz Research,” the firm created to generate the report, said in a stetement that “So how’s it going? Good?” was not the sort of question she asked.

“If we provided actual question phrasing and answer choices, the data from the survey would be skewed and influenced by human tendencies to change minds or decide over time to answer differently. Surveys are essentially snapshots of participants’ reality. How a participant answers may vary day to day. Invariably, our perceptions are influenced by whether or not a day or week has gone well.”

LoPrinzi has an impressive track record of energy and technology analysis. According to a biography obtained from The Internet, “LoPrinzi specializes in technology and intellectual property strategy and develops IP documentation and analysis studies for Fortune 100 companies, with particular emphasis on IT technology and algorithmically based inventions.”

One of LoPrinzi’s blockbusters was her 2005 “The Process Spectroscopy Market,” a report that costs $4500. Aren’t you glad the adult industry doesn’t use process spectroscopy and, following Max Hardcore’s incarceration, also doesn’t use sigmoidoscopy?

Gram: What is the value of this research to an industry veteran? To an interested investor? To someone wanting to break into the business? To an outside business reporter?

Helmy: It has substantial value for those who don’t have their finger on the pulse of the industry – and that’s the majority of folks out there.

Gram: Who is the audience for this survey?

Helmy: (The) primary audience is the adult business community, secondary are entrepreneurs, journalists/media, etc.

I’m not sure if this indicates that the primary audience for this report is also the target audience. If this is so, Helmy is saying that the “most of the folks out there” in the adult industry don’t have their finger on the pulse of the adult industry, thus the need for the Full edition.

My experience with adult trade publication employment is that the majority of people who read adult trade publications are looking for their names in print (this is similar to any trade publication). But LoPrinzi says that there is value for the casual observer, too:

“This industry’s business patterns provide valuable information to markets outside of adult entertainment,” LoPrinzi said. “Adult entertainment businesses employ unique technologies and innovative business models while maintaining a pattern of frequent change. Business professionals from all industries will gain new insight from our market research.”

Gram: Is this the sort of publication that will be produced once a year?

Helmy: We’ll gauge overall response to the study and decide.

Gram: I can’t wait! Final questions: Would you say the report ends like the Book of Revelation?

Helmy: No, it’s not apocalyptic literature.

Gram: Does it have a centerfold?

Helmy: Yes, featuring text and charts, graphs, and data filters.

Gram: Do you suggest reading it with the lights on?

Helmy: Yes, we don’t offer it in Braille.

Gram: Will it be translated into Arabic?

Helmy: We’re only considering Hebrew and Farsi editions at the moment.

Gram: Well, you’ve got the adult industry’s demographics down. But what about the Armenians who say they’re Mexican? And are you sending it to AVN for review?

Helmy: We can

Gram: Is there anyone left there to review it?

Helmy: Mark Kernes?

Gram: Are you hoping for an Oprah endorsement?

Helmy: No, but we hope Obama will once he fixes the economy.

Gram: Will there be a signing?

Helmy: No, but we’ll be holding a special presentation at the XBIZ Conference ’09 in Woodland Hills.

The XBiz State of the Industry Conference (“The Adult Entertainment Industry’s Leading Trade Conference” – XBiz) will be held next week at the Warner Marriott in Woodland Hills. The Conference culminates with the XBiz Awards in Hollywood.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Porn screenwriting 101; Backstage at the XBiz Awards – a night of heroes
See also: XBiz Research, XBiz State of the Industry Conference

Apple to leave MacWorld for Adult Entertainment Expo

Tech watchers are up in arms about Apple’s announcement that this January’s MacWorld Expo will be its last and that founder Steve Jobs will not deliver his annual keynote speech.

The Cupertino computer giant’s December 16 statement has reignited concern over Jobs’ health as well as speculation about where Apple will make its presence felt in January, 2010.

Now the rumor magnet hardware/software firm could not be more blatant. Don’t speculate, it says: copulate.

Jobs announced that Apple will purchase prime space once occupied by porn purveyors Hustler, Vivid, and Wicked at the 2010 Adult Entertainment Expo, an annual gathering of porn fans and the businesses that cater to them.

“Porn performers’ preference for Apple products and their tendency to not second-guess every goddamn thing I say and blog about it really made up my mind for me,” said Jobs, flanked by ubiquitous porn personalities Dave Navarro, James Bartholet, Bill Margold, and Shy Love at a press conference held in Chatsworth’s Lamplighter Restaurant. “Their predilection for becoming addicted to expensive status objects also fits right in to our marketing strategy.

“Plus,” he said, “I’m fairly certain that women with iPhones swallow.”

Apple’s surprise announcement came as a sorely-needed boost to the Adult Entertainment Expo, which is hosting fewer porn studio booths this January and more non-adult or quasi-adult exhibitors, such as at least eight 400-threadcount sheet vendors.

Many adult studios have drastically reduced their footprint on the show floor, plan to host visitors in their hotel rooms instead, or aren’t showing up at all.

Some porn industry insiders said that the combination of financial difficulties at the Sands Expo Center and studios’ diminishing interest over the past several years would have resulted in the AEE’s disappearance from Las Vegas after 2009, had Apple not stepped in.

And Apple’s announcement comes as a narrative reacharound for Las Vegas’ “other” January trade show.

“We haven’t attracted computer geeks since we had to split off from CES (the concurrent Consumer Electronics Show) in 1999,” said AVN President Paul Fishbein. “Instead, we diversified into guys in wheelchairs and a traveling pack of dudes with oxygen machines. Also the morbidly obese.”

26th annual AVN Awards co-host Belladonna noted that she could fit a 12″ MacBook Pro into her ass.

“Or three Mac Airs,” she said, “and frankly, that’s where those things belong.”

Hot on the heels of Apple’s announcement, AVN said that the venerable porn trade publisher, which has divested itself of ownership of the AEE and its eponymous awards show, would leave the AEE and instead exhibit at February’s XBiz Forum.

“Just don’t tell Margold where we went,” a spokesperson said.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Jenny Hendrix keeps in touch; Jennas Jameson marries iPhone
See also: Adult Entertainment Expo, Apple

Shocker: Some Pornorazzi hated

“They stand there. They get in the way. They gawk. You can hear them breathing.”

As Santa Ana winds and a tightening ring of fire drive adult casts, crews, and the media personnel that cover them closer together, both sides are chafing at the intrusion of new-school pornorazzi – people with disposables and camera phones itching to get close to their idols at porn parties and sets.

A veteran director told me that he used to demand closed sets, but the rise of viral media as well as increased competition between adult publications has forced him to consent to his company’s wishes to invite press on set.

“But you’re all right, Gram,” he said. “I’d invite you anyway.” (This is because I picked up and hid his old-tymey coke spoon when he had carelessly left it out in front of a TMZ crew recently.)

And among the handful of writers and photographers who have covered porn events for years is a genuine anger at the lack of decorum practiced by the interlopers. The appearance of guys with Mini DV cameras nosing in on their turf sparks cries of indignation similar to those uttered by “Golden Age” porn directors angry about being usurped by people who can find the Record button.

“They think that all they need is a camera and suddenly they’re media,” said Dominic X, owner of the EMM Agency, a standby in the porn world for high quality still images that is branching into mainstream red carpet events. “Did you see that guy in the wheelchair?”

Dominic and I worked an event recently that was especially lousy with cameras. A man in a wheelchair rolled back and forth and was often underfoot. That was fine, except:

“And I have video of him groping the girls,” Dominic said.

I have heard of two sets of people within the adult industry agitating for a media guild, in which members would have to be invited and might even get laminated press cards for their scrapbooks.

“That way the girls are protected and we don’t have to keep shoving people out of the shot,” Dominic said.

Adella O’Neal and Tim Williams, who handle various aspects of the AVN Convention and Awards press experience for different companies, both are overwhelmed by the number of people from dubious media outlets attempting to get into the events for free.

“I see the same people show up year after year,” Williams said, “and I have never seen any of their coverage in what you might call a legitimate publication.”

What I might call a legitimate publication changes every year as a business model that was based on pay-for-use photo services has blown up into viral images and videos taken without permission and posted on the cheap. For the performers who want it, it’s free publicity. For the media, it is a problem that gets worse at each event.

O’Neal said she regularly rejects at least 20 percent of the submissions, whether they are walk-ups or attempted pre-registers.

“A lot of them are just fans,” she said.

Certain fandom engenders a proprietary urge toward performers who are already vulnerable for having appeared so clinically naked in dozens of videos.

And, according to some performers, individual members of the media sometimes mask their insecurity by printing hateful things.

“They’re just jealous,” said performer Jack Lawrence.

For perspective, I found an interview I conducted with Harvey Levin, the developer and host of TMZ, a Hollywood gossip blog and basic cable show.

“We’re vultures,” he said in 2007. “But these people want us to catch them. That’s what they signed on for when they became famous.”

However much Levin believes his employees have the right to prey on celebrities, adult entertainment “news” culture is actually much more considerate of the talent, mostly keeping a respectful distance.

And, as Kayden Kross told me recently, “I like it when people take pictures” and she dresses, or doesn’t dress, accordingly.

Still, there seems to be a general consensus within the Porno-American community of driving The Other away. This might be difficult because some studios are getting addicted to viral press, even if it doesn’t lead to sales.

One of the factions hoping to put together a media guild even suggests telling companies they will receive no coverage from guild members if non-guild members are allowed on set.

Such an embargo is unlikely to be beneficial to anyone, but it does boil down to politeness.

I talked with Richard Montfort, studio photographer and porn director. He acknowledged that the growing pornorazzi issue concerned him.

“They eat all our craft services,” he said.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Vicky Vette: when boobs are not enough; Columbia Journalism Review addresses porn megaconglomerates; Twilight of the Hustler studio

Black and grey Friday in the porn world, Gawker Media

The porn industry is contracting somewhat, and familiar faces at some companies are either leaving porn altogether or are moving to other companies to be familiar faces there. I’ll mention some people in the latter category.

My pal Joanne Cachapero at XBiz will be leaving to become Membership Director of the Free Speech Coalition, an adult industry lobbying group. Farley Cahen of AVN will move to Digital Playground in a “New Media” position, leaving his current job open (and I hear there are editorial changes coming to AVN as well), Tom Hymes of XBiz, formerly of both AVN and the FSC, is now the managing editor of Sex.com.

Q. Since you are integral to the success of these companies, Grams, what do these changes mean for you?
A. Thanks for asking. There is a chance that, after the Pirates 2 review Joanne and I write for XBiz this month, our review column in XBiz Premiere will go away, because the company will then have to pay two people as freelancers rather than one. Then, if I become publisher of AVN, I would no longer be able to write for XBiz because, like Rush’s “New World Man,” both companies desire to keep their nature pure.

Once upon a time people said that Porn was recession-proof, and that remains true if you think of it in terms of what people used to say about sex before marriage: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

The amount of free or undercut porn on the Internet, coupled with pay-per-scene or pay-per-minute schemes, has crippled the ability of larger features to attract the audiences they once did. And audiences coming of age in a time when porn is more free than ever and accessible in bite-sized form don’t appreciate the “classics.”

Companies like Hustler strike when the iron is hot (such as with Gov Lov and the upcoming Lisa Ann-as-“Sarah Paylin” movie) and must resort to increasing levels of gimmickry to approximate the cash that once came so easily.

Porn personnel are “laying low” (I have heard this phrase several times): not advertising as much, throwing fewer parties, and not spending as much on productions. Visitors to the January 2009 Adult Entertainment Expo will see less extravagant booths, and fewer of them. Luckily, consumer tickets to both the Expo and the AVN Awards should somewhat compensate.

If DVD sales are down, the exception might seem to be Pirates 2, which is less a movie than an event and, as singular an event it is (more off the record sources from other companies say they’ve already accepted that the movie will sweep the major awards next year and hope only for its scraps), considering the average ROI on porn titles, it does not seem possible that Pirates 2 could have been financed in-house, in the same way that some of the “blockbuster” porn movies of the past few years have been financed with money not generated specifically by the company that produced them. Instead, they have been financed by the mainstream “real jobs” of their owners.

And while porn industry insiders blame company owners for long ago sacrificing “tangibles” to the Internet or sluggishly enforcing copyrights, if at all, now the outside economy is further darkening Porn’s door.

Nick Denton, founder of the Gawker website empire (and who, if my Fleshbot checks weren’t direct-deposited, would sign them) sent out the following memo informing his employees of staff cuts at those GawkerMedia sites that were underperforming:

I have some bad news. Here’s the heart of it: we are cutting 19 of our
133 editorial positions and suspending bonus payments at the start of
next year. With the savings, we are increasing base pay and hiring 10
new people on the most commercially successful Gawker sites. But I
know that’s scant consolation for the colleagues we’re losing and for
those of you who have been enjoying the bonus windfalls from breakout
stories.

You can guess the reason for these brutal measures: the recession.
Sure, the company is currently profitable and advertising sales are up
by about 30% on their level of a year ago. Our biggest clients are
consumer electronics and entertainment companies that are relatively
well insulated. And, yes, this is not the first time I’ve predicted
doom: in July 2006, when we “battened down the hatches” and closed
down Sploid and Screenhead; and in April this year, when we spun off
Idolator, Gridskipper and Wonkette.

But now the credit crisis is clearly going to affect every sector of
the economy. Advertising buys typically plunge after the Christmas
shopping season, and 2009 is obviously going to be exceptionally
difficult. We have to prepare for the worst, now, rather than when the
worst comes upon us.

We never used to talk about the business side of the operation.
Traffic was the only concern; my belief was that juicy news would draw
the readers and the advertising would take care of itself. We were
patient; even if it took four years for a site to develop the audience
that finally registered with advertisers, we had the time. No longer.

Sites such as Consumerist, whose success has been measured more in
traffic and recognition than in revenue, now need to cover their
costs. I can’t underline enough that this harsh commercial judgment is
no reflection whatsoever on the editorial teams that are being cut.

Each of these sites performs a vital function. Consumerist provides an
outlet for disgruntled consumers that exists nowhere else on the web;
Valleywag has given puffed-up Silicon Valley the prick it’s long
needed; and Fleshbot manages to be classy and filthy at the same time.
The site leads and writers on all of our sites have done exactly what
we asked them to: work harder than the competition and grow the
audience. It’s my commercial judgment that’s been at fault.

One reason we’re eliminating these positions is to reinforce the teams
on the sites with the most commercial appeal—Gizmodo, Kotaku,
Lifehacker and Gawker—and the properties such as Jezebel, io9,
Deadspin and Jalopnik which are poised to join them.

One new recruit we’re confirming today is Gabriel Snyder from W
Magazine in Los Angeles who, as managing editor of Gawker.com, will
continue the site’s evolution into a national news and entertainment
site. We are also hiring new contributors at Jezebel, Deadspin, Kotaku
and io9.

Even in the growing editorial teams we need to control costs. And that
means a new look at traffic bonuses. We’ve been spending $50,000 a
month on average on pageview bonuses. The scheme has made writers
hustle for traffic even in teams so large that there was a risk they
become lumbering. It’s helped us hit a record 274m pageviews last
month, up 69% on last September.

Pageview bonuses will continue this quarter. And we are committed to
pageview incentives, and to measuring performance by a writer’s
individual pageviews, in the long term. But a first quarter spike in
traffic — and the resulting bonus payments — could be dangerous if
advertising markets are troubled next year. And we’re assuming that
the economy is so volatile that most of you would like a little bit
more predictability about your own income.

That’s why we’re suspending the pageview bonus for the first quarter
at least, but making up for some of the loss of income by raising pay.
If you haven’t recently agreed to a new rate, your monthly base amount
will automatically be increased by 5% in January.

The news about the job and bonus cuts will be demoralizing. The golden
age of the blog is over, people will say. Gawker Media is behaving
like those big media companies that we mock so easily. I could come up
with some bullshit line about how much worse it would have been to
wait until we were forced to control costs; or how much more
unpleasant life will be at the many internet ventures and newspapers
that won’t make it through the downturn. I could give you my
optimistic spin about the glorious future that awaits us on the far
side of this downturn.

But there is no escaping the fact that we’re losing some excellent
colleagues and the environment next year will be bleak. The one
consolation is that there will be plenty of news for us to break —
starting with this email, which you are free to leak.

Luckily, I am still Senior Erotic Consultant at Fleshbot; my job was not cut. But things are tough all over, and you can expect it to get worse before it gets better.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: When Black Friday comes to AVN

Vicky Vette: When boobs are not enough

Erotic Scandinavian among erotic Scandinavians Vicky Vette, whose wholesome sauciness evokes the pornstars of the 90’s, is in a near dead heat with someone named Tera Patrick over a Best Boobs contest on a site called Booble. At this writing, Vette is ahead.

But there seems to be a Clintonesque backroom campaign designed to snatch that title away from her, Vette thinks, involving the willingness of the adult press, as represented by trade publications AVN and XBiz, to give more press to Patrick, and Patrick’s evoking her own (dubious, Vette says) charity work to an appeal for votes.

Me, I’d just be happy to be mamminated.

Having spent time working at adult trade publications, I know that squeaky wheels get the grease, and the squeakiest wheels can get their merest queef printed as a headline article.

I reprint Vette’s Open Letter to the Porn Press as an example of how, even (and especially) in the tiny world of porn, boobs don’t go as far as you’d like them to.

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE PORN PRESS & INDUSTRY FROM VICKY VETTE

Who knows, I may be putting a nail in my own coffin, lol… but sometimes the hypocrisy and bs in this business astounds me.

, Vicky Vette release the following statement regarding Tera Patrick’s charity pledge. I challenge ‘journalists’ to print it unedited since I will be putting it up in all the places I frequent in the new real world of adult – the internet. It is going to get read anyway. I know how to get the word out even if you don’t print it.

I preface this statement by saying that charity is a very important part of life. Doing charity is good for the heart and good for the soul. If the porn industry ever wanted to get behind my charity work, they could have taken the time to ask me about it before splashing the pages of the industry magazines with Tera’s charity pledge without even giving me a chance to respond. I’ve been doing it for years. I am booked for the AIDS Walk again in Atlanta October 19, 2008 and I could use the press help for the charity’s sake, not to win Booble. Charity work should be done for the right reasons – not just for press.

I believe in actions, not press releases seeking votes when you are in 2nd place with 3 days to go in a competition. Funny how she never mentioned her intentions while she was in the lead? So we have a Tera Patrick/Booble press release with a ‘every vote is a vote for charity’ message. I ask the porn press who all have my telephone number (which has not changed in 5 years) the following questions:

1. Why did the porn press not ask why the charity in question is promoting a card playing event that is over one year old and the ticket page http://www.babefoundation.com/ticketstopokertourney.html directs you to a dead end? If the charity doesn’t have the funds to update their website, and needs help, maybe we should all get involved?
2. What happened to my press release I sent you over a week ago about being in Booble?
3. What happened to my press release about Nina Hartley joining forces with me with her website NinaHartley.com that you got yesterday?
4. Why was I not given the courtesy of an emailed copy of the ‘charity for votes press release’ while it was being prepared?
5. Why did AVN and XBiz, publications I have done stories with before, done interviews for, and always tried to help out, run with a story while I was out for an afternoon doing errands? Quote: “Vicky Vette was not available for comment?” Au Contraire! I have nothing but comments! The press release was posted on xbiz and the once-weekly email sent to the subscribers only hours after they sent me the perfunctory email. I wonder when it was actually thought of and drafted? Not available for comments! What a joke – call me – I’ll give you comments! Gee now there won’t be another newsletter email until after the contest is over. Coincidence?
6. Why not run with a story for the benefit of Nina Hartley a true veteran and staunch supporter of the industry and freedom of speech –who is a legend in her own time?

WHY is the question – my answer you will not like. Perhaps getting press for the sake of press – press because second is not good enough.

This competition is not about Tera Patrick, who is incredibly beautiful by the way. Her boobs are awesome and deserve votes. Some in the porn industry just said to me on Monday that it was incredible I was making a resurgence and that he thought I retired from the world of porn. Incredible. Nothing could be further from the truth and I have news for the world of porn. I flourished ‘under the radar’ and did things some stars don’t seem to like to do – get my hands ‘dirty’ interacting with the fans. For two years I spent time on the internet and learning it. I may not have the global fan base of Tera Patrick by virtue of the reach of DVD sales in general, but I developed ‘the people’s vote’. I stopped doing ‘box cover movies’ to be a trendsetter in the business. It does not take rocket science to see that DVD sales and store sales of DVD’s are way down. People are going in droves to buy their adult content online and they are interacting in ways that the industry never anticipated and frankly do not like. The first thing today’s “stars” do is hire a publicist/assistant to deal with all that ‘horrible’ mail in their inbox.

Want to know what a Vicky Vette day looks like? Opening email, going through Myspace, Facebook, Yahoo, and social networks, talking to the people who write, and above all else being interactive with as many people as possible – yes grunting it out. Just compare my myspace page http://www.myspace.com/vickyvette to Tera’s myspace page. See all the comments from the folks on the page? I may not have as many ‘fans’, but I have cultivated ‘friends’. Welcome to social networking in the 21st century porn industry – you don’t like it, but it is here. Ask the fans on Facebook who have had instant message chats with Vicky Vette at 1.00 in the morning…. I chat, I interact, I do my best to respond, and I do it daily and weekly. I am not ‘above’ doing camshows weekly, week in week out. For what is is worth I may be one of the first ‘major’ (whatever that means) pornstars to jump the DVD Titanic ship and interact with fans to this extent. The porn industry is fooling itself if it thinks it can keep packaging up pornstars and throwing them on boxcovers. Fans expect more and they should get more. We are not ‘stars’ – we are lucky to have people buying porn with all the free porn being given away.

So who has been voting for me? Who has been texting their friends http://www.vote4vette.com (my booble vote link) all over the world? It is the fans I speak to and who have been speaking to on a daily basis, the person in Switzerland who instant messages me out of the blue, or the fan in Denmark who send me a note on Myspace saying ‘I don’t expect a response but….’ Don’t believe that the internet is working for me? Take a look at the hits on my website….. my site is now going to pass Tera Patrick’s site for popularity – not bragging, just a fact. While the porn world was sleeping I was imming, texting, messaging, and bulletining my fans all over the world, one by one, vote by vote. Those are the people who are voting, those are the very people who buy the dvd’s that you have been ignoring, those are the people going to the free sites you despise, and the people who are now going in droves to download rather than hang out at the local DVD store.

If you vote for Tera because of her pledge to charity… then so be it. I expected to lose when this started and I expected the all powerful adult press to give the adult superstar a leg up if she needed it. Second would still be awesome. Win or lose, I will be doing what it did before the contest started – hanging with the fans, running my sites, concentrating on the future of adult, and promoting all over the internet, me, and my boobles and one click at a time.

See you all at the AID’s walk guys – hope you have the balls to print this word for word. Vicky

I like Ms. Vette, but the next time I misspell AIDS please remind me to challenge my editor to have the balls to print it.

Previously: Porn stars in my past, nipples in the news; Recovering Vette; No Morals!
See also: Vicky Vette

Don’t go breaking my Covenant

As America’s foremost critic of pornographic and pornotextual material (it even says so on my parking space), I am often asked, upon writing an unfavorable review of a movie, what right I have to say so if I have never directed or performed in a pornographic movie?

A reasonable question if one disregards the following two things:

  • Do I have to be a chef to appreciate good cooking? If I throw up, am I therefore a bad eater?
  • How come my credentials are never questioned when I give something a good review?

More and more I am falling out of love with porn features, those movies with stories and scripts, because too often the weight of the parts overwhelms the appeal of the movie’s basic porniness. The inevitable disparity between hype and substance reveals limitations less ambitious movies don’t have. I think a simple, cheap gonzo movie succeeds much more frequently than one that tries and fails.

I even see a little arrogance in some of the bigger feature efforts, as if just trying should be enough to justify and forgive a train wreck’s failure. Only in school are we given grades for effort independent of success.

The features that most often fall afoul for me are the serious ones dealing with sexual obsession, darkest desires, and hidden secrets. People who can’t act are not allowed to have those things. And sometimes even porn comedies, those things which I think are closest to the spirit of what getting naked on camera should be, also trip over themselves.

Of all the things that get jammed down the throat in a porn movie, the script should not be one of them.

Four notable exceptions of features that play to everyone’s strengths (though there are more) that come to mind: Upload, Spunk’d, O: The Power of Submission, Contract Star.

I mention this because, oh man, I really didn’t like Carolina Jones And the Broken Covenant, much as I like Ava Rose and Bree Olson. I wish it could have been a bunch of sex scenes with no script, costumes, or foreign locations. The money saved could have gone for a pizza party at the end of the school year.

For more, click here.

Previously: Buffet line in the Czech Republic
See also: Adam & Eve, XBiz

Columbia Journalism Review addresses porn megaconglomerates

With today’s announcement that Magna Publishing, parent company of furtive, raincoat-wearing gentlemen’s magazine Genesis, has purchased bestubbled, bathrobe-wearing gentlemen’s magazine Gallery, media watchers are concerned that a large segment of print medium porn consumers will no longer be represented at the corner, cheap cigar-smelling news stand.

“This happened in 1994 when Sexonaut merged with Clam,” said Columbia Journalism Review manging editor Darren Perch-Tounge, “and suddenly a whole generation of gentlemen who smelled like their dogs and day-old despair was voiceless.

“Notice the number agreement of ‘generation’ and ‘was’,” Perch-Tounge added. “That’s the difference between us and the Middlesex Community College Journalism Review.”

As in the world of mainstream media mergers and acquisitions, today’s announcement by Magna Publishing, which also purchased the magazines and websites related to Fox and Lollypops, sent ripples of concern through populations fearing they will be underserved by the new monopoly.

“Mmmmm. Pussy,” one vagrant said.

“The vagrant is right,” Perch-Tounge agreed. “What does a celebrity publisher like Tera Patrick (Genesis) or Stormy Daniels (Velvet) know about the needs of the average Gallery reader who just wants to masturbate to pictures of Oklahoma housewives?”

Perch-Tounge noted that the decline of the DVD and the increase in oil prices are only going to make mergers more common in the coming months.

“You need trucks to drive those magazines to the nation’s 7-11s and Store 24s,” he said. “And when Rupert Murdoch buys AVN and XBiz next week, there goes the audience for interpretive DVD sales charts.”

Previously: Report: Stormy Daniels appears on magazine cover; Tera Patrick: The new black
See also: Genesis Online, The Gallery of Forgotten Girlie Magazines

When Black Friday comes to AVN

AVN laid off 16 employees today, including senior editor Mike Albo, long a fixture on the adult reportage scene, having previously edited Hustler’s Erotic Video Guide.

Also let go were AVN’s receptionist and employees throughout the company, from Art to the warehouse.

News travels fast. An AVN employee asked how I knew, and I remembered how I’d read about my own firing five years ago on Mike South’s blog.

That’s 16 employees set adrift through Porn Valley. I recall no severance package when I was let go (that might have changed or maybe it was because I’m an asshole; word is that there was no severance package and that I am an asshole), and I only survived due to my substantial trust fund, so if there are adult companies seeking to absorb former AVN employees, now is the time.

UPDATE

Hire them, or the alternative is clear: 16 new porn bloggers who used to work for AVN.

While neither mentioning it had sent 16 employees packing nor announcing what the company would actually do to remain competitive, AVN nevertheless posted an unprecedented “restructuring” story on its website that, according to one former employee, lacked only the use of phrases like “paradigm,” “thinking out of the box,” and “moving forward” to be interchangeable with “any other instance of corporate bullshitspeak in America.”

That said, AVN was bloated and it needed to cut somewhere. No one who watches this sort of thing is ever satisfied with the choices made or how they were executed, but it is important to point out that AVN finally has a better website and, though its magazine is shrinking, it still has more of a presence as it “streamlines” than does its main competitor expanding.

But looking at the higher-profile departures from AVN of the past few years, each was kept long after the individual had severely damaged the company’s reputation via the three bugaboos of the adult entertainment industry: cocainery, chicanery, and incompetence, whereas the poor slobs let go today on the whole did not know what was coming and did not get a parachute like their higher-profile former superiors did.

Previously: AVN sold to Dunkin Donuts
See also: AVN

Mug shot revisited

Thermos
Thermos

Since performer Kurt Lockwood’s return to the porn industry after announcing his retirement last September, he has been appearing in transsexual and bisexual videos. According to friends, “he has been telling everyone he is only doing gay movies from now on.”

But unless anything has changed in Lockwood’s understanding of himself from one year ago this week, he only plays a gay man in movies.

On March 1, 2007, I arrived at the set of a movie only to be attacked by an irate Lockwood, who said I’d called him a “fag.” He shoved me several times in the middle of the street, and I halfheartedly broke my thermos of lukewarm coffee on his glasses.

The cash-strapped production (the company went out of business soon after the movie was released), rather than boot Lockwood off the set, instead demanded that I and a blogger named Luke Ford leave, lest Lockwood become more upset.

It turns out I had arrived as the movie’s director, Jennifer James, was trying to calm Lockwood down from a previous threat he had made against the manager of the filming location. The manager hadn’t allowed Lockwood’s dog in the building and Lockwood threatened to kick his ass.

The day was already going poorly for Kurt. He was an hour late and had just been told by Bo Kenney, owner of SexZ Pictures, that Lockwood’s “The Real Boogie Nights” was unsalvageable, containing whole pages of dialogue plagiarized from P.T. Anderson’s 1998 “Boogie Nights” and, according to a SexZ director, being “almost unrecognizable as a movie.”

While there are a number of lifestyle heterosexual male performers who are “gay for pay,” appearing in the (on the whole) more lucrative gay movies, Lockwood’s boastful demeanor and frequent chatboard feuds with other adult industry employees drew criticism and scorn aimed at deflating his ego. Among these were numerous accusations of Lockwood’s own homosexuality with liberal doses of the word “fag.”

Unfortunately for me – otherwise I would have known what was coming – I had never called Lockwood a fag.

But I had written that, for a person who was once a go go dancer at gay clubs, who appeared in “pegging” movies, who had performed in all-male films aimed at gay consumers in the early part of his porn work and who, even in his stalled music career as “Stevie Sexyxrist,” had appeared in flamboyant drag, it seemed unseemly for him to act surprised that people might suggest he might be gay himself and downright weird for him to protest his heterosexuality so violently.

I had the chance to tell Luke Ford he did not have my permission to post the video he said he’d taken of the assault, but he posted it as soon as he got home. I was driving to another set, irritated with James and freaked out by Lockwood’s behavior, when I got a call from a former L.A. Times reporter who told me the video was on the web.

This is when the story evolved from something that could be dealt with privately in a day or two to something I still hear about. I filed battery charges against Lockwood with the L.A.P.D. Rampart Division and consulted a lawyer about suing the company that had allowed a demonstrably violent person to continue working after attacking an invited member of the press.

The lawyer correctly predicted that the company would have no money to pay me, “but there’s a case there if you want one.”

The day of the assault, Ford wrote Lockwood to ask him for his side of the story. Lockwood wrote back: “You’re next.”

Lockwood’s friends, the performers Jack Lawrence and Josh Hunter, both speculated to me that Lockwood thought I was Ford, who had also never called him a fag but who had printed more defamatory material on his former website.

But I did not believe this, as I’d heard Kurt ask Jennifer James who I was before he started shoving.

I kept notes of my interviews with city employees and they gave me details of their conversations with James and Lockwood.

Lockwood was questioned by an L.A.P.D. detective two weeks after the incident. He brought the shirt that he’d taken off in the street, said that I’d burned him with coffee, and filed a battery charge against me. This was immediately dismissed.

Meanwhile, Jennifer James had called me to apologize, saying it was not her decision to have me kicked off the set. “My hands were tied,” she said.

She had never given me any reason to believe her before; I’d determined after James had lied to me in an interview I’d published that I would never give her any publicity again, but I’d changed my mind, and then regretted it.

The movie’s producer, a newcomer calling himself Brian Scott, also wrote me and offered to take me to dinner. I wrote back and asked him his real name and the physical address of his business. He didn’t contact me again.

James was then interviewed by the L.A.P.D. She admitted that Lockwood had already appeared “out of control” earlier in the morning and that when he had gone after me, James was in the process of trying to calm him down.

When James was asked why she chose to have me and Ford leave the set rather than send Lockwood home, she said that the budget wouldn’t allow it. Producer Scott said Lockwood couldn’t be replaced that quickly, and the location had already been paid for. Later, James told others that she had “written the part” for Kurt and that, after the distractions had been sent away, he had done a “sizzling” scene.

In the coming months I dealt with two representatives of the City of Los Angeles. Both in their turn seemed at times bemused, fascinated, and repelled by the workings of the adult business.

The detective conducting the initial interviews, Dollie Swanson, would give me updates. She seemed, at times, shocked at the way people conducted themselves in the porn industry.

“In any other business people would bend over backwards to make sure you didn’t write anything bad about them,” Swanson told me after talking with James. “These people are on these chatboards all the time, getting into it.”

I said that in a business where the margins are so small and where one director’s product looked a lot like another’s, any publicity is good publicity.

Swanson told me that Lockwood brought her printouts of my work – or had searched a computer in her presence – and was still not able to find evidence of my having called him a fag.

But performer Kami Andrews had. She’d had dealings with Lockwood and called him a fag, on my site, when she wrote a guest column while I was on vacation. But it was clearly marked that she was the writer.

“I find no evidence of your having called him that,” she told me, “but there is enough on your site that clearly derides him about his sunglasses, and someone would be able to tell that you’re making fun of him.”

Lockwood told Swanson that sometimes others, such as girlfriends, wrote posts for him on chatboards. He said that the porn industry was homophobic and that it would not give him work if people thought he was gay.

“Is this true?” Swanson asked me.

I pointed out that since the incident, people had been mailing me undoctored photos of Lockwood in situations a reasonable person might call gay. These included pictures of his former band and some DVD covers. I also said that , whether or not it was true of Kurt’s orientation, “gay” was a word that people used in the adult business to describe him – but not necessarily pejoratively.

I said that I don’t think people call the director Chi Chi LaRue a fag, and she has often directed on the straight side of porn. I said that I didn’t think people cared.

But, I said, it was not his sexuality that people had trouble with. It was this business of freaking out on people. I suggested that it was Lockwood who was sensitive about his sexuality, and that he shouldn’t be.

But even if certain directors would no longer hire him for his belligerent behavior, enough would continue working with him because he’s a handsome dude and fans like him.

“I’m looking at some of these stories on the websites,” she said, “and it doesn’t seem like you can really get blacklisted enough to keep someone from hiring you.”

The police obtained statements from Abby Ehmann, who was with me on the set, from blogger and director Mike South, whom Lockwood had assaulted at the AVN Expo, and from radio host Wankus, whom Lockwood had assaulted – also on the “you called me a fag” pretext – at a memorial service for the director Jim Holliday.

Detective Swanson waded through Lockwood’s extensive digital paper trail of heated backs and forths with detractors. The case was kicked up to Civil Court.

By this point I was wondering why the two major adult “news” organizations, AVN and XBiz, had not done a story about an assault on a movie set involving a well-known director, a well-known performer, and a former employee of both their companies. XBiz finally wrote something on March 12.

Then James and Scott went to various websites saying that people like me should not write whatever they wanted with impunity and that I should apologize for disrupting the set of the movie. Lockwood told XBiz that sldiers were dying in Iraq and people interested in this story should get a life.

The backlash against James, Scott, and Lockwood was immediate, harsh, and educational. But James, having hired publicist Jeff Mullen for the movie, marketed it as “porn’s most dangerous movie” and capitalized on the assault.

I wrote Mullen that I would not print any of his press releases until he had distanced himself from James, which he has.

Other than people connected with the movie, the only person I know of who defended the production’s actions in asking me to leave was the late Jim Holliday’s friend, former porn performer Bill Margold.

The 60-something Margold comes from a time when porn was illegal, and believes in the strong bonds of something he calls “The Family of X.”

Of my decision to call the cops he wrote:

“Obviously the man is clueless when it comes to matters of honor and loyalty toward a business that allows him to butter his daily bread.”

He went on to relate a story about working as a juvenile corrections officer and shaming tattlers rather than dealing with the people they told on. I do think the honor and loyalty approach is effective for organizations like the Mob, where there is an internal system of controls, but I didn’t see any self-regulation happening on the set that day. Also, the Mob makes money – this movie lost it.

Margold works for an escort ad newspaper called the LAXPress. I’d been e-mailed one of their covers last summer that clearly identified the performer Hillary Scott as a hooker named Tiffany. I called the paper, said who I was, and was put on hold. The person who picked up the phone next had a familiar voice, but did not identify himself, but began lecturing immediately.

“You need to understand that when you allow your picture to be taken and you sign that release, that image doesn’t belong to you,” he said. “People can use it for anything.”

“Is this Bill Margold?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Uh huh. Now, you know that’s Hillary Scott, right? And not Tiffany the hooker?”

“Yes.”

Family of X

I was then interviewed by Hearing Officer Cydney Bensimon of the Los Angeles City Attorney’s office. Lockwood was supposed to be there with me but the City sent his notice to the wrong address. By that time – early April of 2007 – I had compiled my own evidence of Lockwood’s behavior towards others and, for good measure, had brought printouts of some of his work that might be construed as gay.

“…but you know that doesn’t matter,” Bensimon said.

“Well, yes, but – ”

“You could tell him his mother wears Army boots; he still has no right to hit you,” she said.

She indicated to me that the case was probably not going anywhere; did I think I was in danger? Had Lockwood tried to contact me?

“Nope. Not even to apologize. But if he’s the type of person who tries to beat up someone who didn’t call him something, what might he try to do to all the people who actually did?”

“When I talk to him I will try to determine if he will do this sort of thing again.”

I told her that I was concerned that, because Lockwood had lied to the detective (there was no way he got burned with coffee; I should know, because most of it had landed on me), any contrition he demonstrated (Lockwood and I were both raised Catholic) might similarly be an act.

“We’ll see.”

At the end of May I got a call from Attorney Bensimon. She had met with Lockwood on May 14.

“I’m not going forward with the claim,” she said. “He admits he hit you, he admits he was out of control, he feels like a jerk for what he did. He’s sorry.”

I asked about a paper trail.

“He’s in the system, but there is no ‘criminal record’ per se,” she said. “There’s no filing or conviction.

“He’s going to be 38 in a week,” she said. “How many years do any of these people have in your business?”

Well, several.

“I don’t think he wants anything to do with you,” she said.

The case was over, and the hubbub had died down. Still, whenever I see certain people they say “Call me a fag now!”

I tried several times to get Kurt Lockwood to talk for this story. I left two phone messages with numbers I’d been given, and at least three e-mails. I then mentioned it to a friend of his, and CCd him on this e-mail:

I congratulated Lockwood on the recent birth of his son, and mentioned that I had a new son in 2007, too.

…But we have some unfinished business. Whatever you were going through that day (or that year) should have not had anything to do with me, and you have not once apologized, publicly or privately, for it. Further, the police are aware you lied to them. Not that that matters (as we’ve seen), but I’m wondering if you want a forum to tell the truth. And I would like your apology to be part of it.

As you know, the story of that day got to be bigger than my getting jumped on the way to work. There were issues of how people cover their butts (figuratively) in this business as well as how profit margins are so low that they affect decision-making. We both know you should have been sent home that day, but they couldn’t afford it. Now that company is bankrupt.

But I think it would do well for your image – and I know you’re concerned about it, else you wouldn’t have done what you did – to talk about the difference between gay and bi and gay for pay – and if any of those terms really mean anything anymore. I’ve noticed that you are venturing into the tranny/bi market again; I think you have an opportunity for that “legacy” (I think that was the word) you mentioned in your farewell AVN article to address the differences/similarities between porn and private life.

What do you think?

No reply.

So Lockwood is working again, Jennifer James can be seen at various events with a camera, ostensibly in the process of prepping a reality show, and the company that made the movie no longer has a website save for a MySpace page that hasn’t been updated. The movie came and went. A salesperson at the company that distributed the DVD told me that it did not sell many copies.

“The Real Boogie Nights,” the movie that Lockwood was told wouldn’t be released, actually was released with some intercession on the part of Ron Jeremy with his pal, P.T. Anderson.

I’ve started speaking to Jeff Mullen again because he thinks he’s going to Hell anyway, so why bother being mad? I feel the same about Luke Ford, who also sort of retired from porn.

I am grateful to Abby Ehmann, Wankus, and especially Mike South for giving me a little perspective in the early days, as well as the myriad chatboard commenters who were a wealth of information. Darcy Alison (now of Videobox) and Justin Berthelsen of Gamelink also provided support in the form of the first of several replacement thermoses that came in the mail the next few weeks.

And I don’t have anything against Lockwood. This is a hard business to be in sometimes; fame comes a lot easier than anywhere else, but it is directly proportional to scrutiny, and the scrutiny is fierce. The detective told him to stop reading stories about him if they get him so mad, but in case he’s reading: No one cares about your orientation. You have a good shot at a worthwhile third act.

I had told Detective Swanson that, when I started writing about porn, it was with the thought that I would eventually write a book about it. After a year I lost interest in writing the type of book everyone seems to write about porn; wide-eyed, titillated, sardonic and dismissive. But after this situation started playing itself out I’ve been thinking about it again.

I will call it “Eon McKai.”

One of the last things Attorney Bensimon said before she closed the case on myself and Lockwood shocked me, because it reduced everyone to the same (non-binding) judgment:

“I think you’re both nice men.”

UPDATE MARCH 2010:

After a brief career transition that involved trannies, Lockwood’s porn career dried up. He actively solicited work but he would not be hired. Lockwood told people he moved to France, though I got several enlightening e-mails from his former high school classmates in Maryland dealing with his recent activities there. Lockwood, or someone posing as him, also sent a few earth-scorching e-mails to various former nemeses, including a threatening letter to me, hoping to stir things up, defending his tranny and bisexual career as “punk rock” and misquoting the Sex Pistols. I dutifully forwarded these to the LAPD, knowing nothing would happen, but seeing the need for a paper trail. Much later, I was contacted by a Baltimore-based FBI agent who asked if I would give testimony against Lockwood in an emigration case and I refused; I said the agents could read what I’d already written but Lockwood (whose birth name that the agent gave me made several things a lot more clear) shouldn’t get the opportunity to blame anyone else for whatever consequences were waiting for him. I was told by a Lockwood acquaintance at the 2010 AVN convention that Lockwood had friended him on Facebook and said that he was taking his meds, so that’s nice.

UPDATE SEPTEMBER 2012:

Someone joins Twitter with the handle KurtLockwood, and I and XCritic’s Don Houston are within this user’s first ten follows. I pay no attention (beyond blocking the user—if it is not Lockwood, I don’t support identity theft; if it is Lockwood, I’m still waiting on that apology). AVN’s Peter Warren, who penned Lockwood’s “farewell to the industry” story several years ago, writes a comeback story. I’m still thinking, “Isn’t there supposed to be a family somewhere in France?”

A reader sends me a massage ad.

Porn is the place where, when you go there, they lack the sense of self-worth to kick you out.

Let’s hope that, in the grand scheme of things, this is just a huge eyeroll. People need to work. Has all the harm that is possible to be done been done? I sure hope so. In the meantime, I have nothing but pity for everyone involved.

AVNAds breaks up with AdBrite

AVNAds, the completely transparent and bug-free ad-serving program that was the shadowy adult side of AdBrite, has broken from its mainstream partner, which is now seeking adult signups via its Black Label Ads program. Both AVN and AVNads were down over the weekend, but both seem to be functioning properly now. No news as to why Mom and Dad parted ways, but I’ve got dozens of dollars in allowance at stake here, so I hope things get patched up soon.



Philip Kaplan’s AdBrite loses porn-ad network
(by Valleywag’s Owen Thomas)

When you talk about “the Valley” in tech, it’s taken for granted that you mean Silicon Valley. But in the world of porn, “the Valley” is the San Fernando Valley, where the adult-film industry has established itself. Now, as porn goes online, there’s a long, drawn-out war for dominance fought by the two valleys. And a tremendous battle has just been lost — by AdBrite, the online-advertising network based in San Francisco. AdBrite, Valleywag has learned, has lost the partner that gave it an entrée into the business of selling porn ads.

AdBrite is not keen to let people know it’s in the admittedly lucrative business of selling ads for pornographic websites. But for some time, AdBrite has had a partnership with AVN, a powerful trade publication covering the porn industry, to sell ads for AVN’s websites and many others, through a site called AVNAds.com. Philip Kaplan characterized the AVNAds relationship as a “technology-licensing agreement,” though it’s clearly more than that; until this morning, AVNAds listed AdBrite’s fax number on its contact information, and ads were served on the adbrite.com domain.

This morning, however, AVN has broken off the relationship and redirected the AVNAds.com domain to a new, hastily built, barely functional website. The ads on the host of porn sites contracting with AVNAds, however, continue to be displayed from AdBrite’s servers. From what I’ve heard, there’s a legal tug of war over the relationship. And last month’s meltdown at 365 Main, the datacenter hosting AdBrite’s servers, doesn’t seem to have helped matters. The press release announcing the new AVNAds website stresses that the new venture will serve ads from multiple datacenters. AVN’s new online-ad network promises to be up and running by September 30.

BlackLabel AdsIn the meantime, though, it seems that Kaplan has a Plan B to keep AdBrite in the porn business under the name “BlackLabel Ads.” Until Friday, when I called an AdBrite executive for comment, BlackLabelAds.com displayed a site identical to AVNAds.com except in name. The list of sites on BlackLabelAds.com, and the structure of the site, was identical to AVNAds.com; it even shared the same fax number as AdBrite and AVNAds.com. Today, though the site remains mostly hidden, the logo remains on AdBrite’s servers. (The BlackLabel site currently redirects to AVNAds.com, but I believe that’s simply because AdBrite execs were hoping to hide the existence of BlackLabelAds.com and were caught offguard by today’s move by AVN.)

So here’s how the battlefront stands: AdBrite has the actual ads served today on the AVN network; AVN has the AVNAds.com domain itself. The question will be — assuming AdBrite’s not going to just give up on the adult-ads business altogether — is whether AdBrite can tell customers about BlackLabelAds faster than AVN can sign them up on the new AVNAds website. Like everything to do with the adult-entertainment business, this battle promises to be messy, dirty, and thoroughly entertaining. And it’s all just one more back-and-forth tussle in the war between the two valleys of porn.

Previously: AdBrite, AVNAds
See also: Philip Kaplan’s AdBrite loses porn-ad network (valleywag.com)

Industry shocker: AVN redesign doesn’t look like ass

AVN has relaunched its website and the result is impressive.

Graphically, the site is less busy than it was before, and videos do not play automatically, which was a problem with the old design. A headline refreshes every few seconds accompanied by a larger, tabloid-style picture.

Without appearing like a gossip blog or a news aggregator, AVN balances what actual news there is in the adult business with arresting images. Read more after the gap.

“Let’s face it,” said Loup Perch-Tounge of Porn watchdog the Chatsworth Creampie Collective, “You can’t make ‘Boy Butter Posts Video to Youtube’ look like news, so why pretend? The new site is eye-catching.”

After years of delays, AVN has stepped up its design and looks competitive again.

The surprise redesign, coming a month after the relaunch of XBiz and 90 days after the groundbreaking and paradigm-shattering reimagining of GramPonante.com, has adult industry pundits pleasantly surprised.

“I had such low expectations that this is really a treat,” said Turgid Video’s Mango Ratpen who, like most members of the adult industry, reads AVN for mentions of his name. “It reminds me of the positive feeling I had when I watched ‘Transformers’ to get out of the rain and ended up enjoying it.”

The redesign features a nostalgic Web 1.5 podcast by Paul Fishbein and even an Adultcon ad, heralding the industry giant’s willingness to acknowledge its competition gracefully.

Previously: Gram Ponaante launches iLick; Erotica L.A. cancelled; XBiz relaunch: Something about Statue of Liberty, sperm
See also: AVN

XBiz Summer Forum ’07 in review

Whenever I go to any kind of convention, the rhythmic motions of my neck, like the waters of Solaris, conspire to turn my ID necklace around, so all anyone sees is the name of whatever company sponsored the costly lamination/lanyard process.

On a deeper level, it raises questions of who we really are. In the porn world, there have always been two camps.

I feel that, of the two adult trade publications, AVN is more defiantly pro-porn; freakier in its makeup, more accepting of the weird, and not self-conscious. There are people at AVN who would gladly go to jail so that porn could continue. But why shouldn’t they? I’ve been to some of their apartments, and I’ve been to many correctional facilities. California Institute for Men – Chino has better carpeting and televisions than those of AVN’s editorial staff.

But this week’s XBiz Summer Forum proved to me that one does not have to like porn to make money on it. In fact, having an emotional attachment to the material often clouds judgment when ordering and reordering one’s TGPs and linklists for optimized ROI.

Read a full account of the proceedings after a break in the HTML continuum.

It is very difficult not to compare AVN with XBiz, as XBiz is doing everything that AVN does, except -mostly- differently. There’s the Awards, the video magazine, the sponsorships, and now the conventions. The only thing XBiz has not yet tried its hand at is a trade show.

That XBiz has had its two Summer Forums at the Hard Rock Hotel is very classy. The place is big enough to hold the several hundred people who came and small enough to have character, whereas AVN’s January shindig at the Sands seems overwhelming at times.

But it was 112 degrees the other day, in the shady garage. Perhaps XBiz’ reluctant acceptance of the porn aesthetic (although one cannot get more porn than Joanne Cachapero) is reflected in its decision to hold its porn convention in Hell.

The Hard Rock’s comprehensive pool, estuary, and watering system was the focal point of the convention, with 33 tents arrayed around it, each rented by a different affiliate program, product, or studio (including Shane’s World, which turned its teepee into an igloo for humanitarian purposes).

Hustler’s new president, Michael Klein, was there, as were Adam & Eve’s Peter Reynolds and Mischa Allen, Oren Cohen of Tightfit, and Pink Visual’s Kim Kysar (all spoke at seminars). Private and Vivid were also represented.

At a seminar about generating free traffic for websites, I sat on a panel with Jay Quinlan of OCCash, traffic hub operator Harry Thomas, and Greenguy of Link-o-rama.

Quentin, known as XXXJay “on the boards”, pointed out that he might not like “Black Lesbian Strap-on” content personally but that it was up to webmasters to assess new trends in their purchasing of content for their affiliate programs.

What was interesting to me was that discussions of “content” left out words that weren’t part of meta tags. People talked about pictures rather than text, and I wondered if pictures without text was trulyy the wave of the future.

I felt the need to speak about the power of words to turgidify customers.

In a previous seminar on traffic, panelists had suggested to newbie webmasters that generating their own content was not recommended, “since there are so many other people out there who are already doing it,” and that recirculating other people’s work was the way to go. This seemed shocking to say and was shocking to hear, but the feeling passed; reducing sexuality to high-yield niches is at the center of what porn is about, so for panelists to suggest without irony that newcomers leave the originality to others should not have been surprising.

Other seminars included a well-intentioned but not very informative discussion of financial planning for pornographers and, in the minutes following the publication of the new 2257 proposal in the Federal Register, Free Speech Coalition lawyers dissected the text. Bottom line? If this passes, things will suck, with no distinction between primary and secondary producers and an adults-only warning on every page of porn websites, as opposed to the general warning people tend to use now.

With each event centrally located to the Hard Rock, people got to know each other over the course of the convention, mostly in the pool. Each of the lunches and most of the drinks were sponsored by some company or other.

Even the waitresses and booth girls were sponsored. I wondered at first why I did not recognize many of the people in XBiz tank tops and short shorts or the bikini’d ladies representing affiliate programs; it is because they were local or L.A. contracters for modeling/catering agencies.

I asked one woman who was walking around with a drink tray how the XBiz Forum measured up to other conventions she’d hostessed for.

“I was in a much skimpier outfit for an RV convention earlier this year,” she said, “and the people weren’t as nice.”

Unlike the AVN convention, actual porn girls were at a minimum, and there were no male porn performers there, unless you count Evan Seinfeld, who was there representing Teravision.

I talked with Seinfeld at length, but never saw Tera Patrick. “She’s up in the room,” he said, then showed me her picture on his iPhone (I counted 14 iPhones in all). I saw Seinfeld several times during the week, but never saw Tera. I began to doubt she was there. At the club Body English I was told that Jenna Jameson was in attendance but after several trips through the VIP area did not see her. I heard she looked good.

terawraycardI spoke with Louisville’s own Tera Wray. I have not yet met someone from Kentucky who wasn’t charming. That is why I am a Kentucky Colonel.

Wray is the newly-signed contract star for New Jersey’s Pleasure Productions. I told her I didn’t know Pleasure Productions had contract stars.

“Well, they hadn’t met me yet,” she said sweetly.

I asked her if she went to the Kentucky Derby.

“I go every year,” she said. “This year I didn’t even have tickets, but I knew all the security guards.”

We held a moment of silence for Barbaro, but I refrained from pouring out my 40 on the ground in his memory.

I gave her my business card, but she had nowhere else to put it. Note to self: next year print business cards on watermelons.

I spoke with Brett Franklin of a gay site called Manaconda.

“You’re probably going to judge me,” he said, “but I want to go over there and suck that guy off.”

“I judge no one,” I said. “Just let him know beforehand.”

There were several well-sponsored and casual events around the pool, like open bars and an evening happy hour, and I expected the same breezy nature of a late-night club event on Wednesday.

I feel about clubs like Body English, what with its bottle service, bikini dancers, and PowerBook-wielding DJs, that they should go the way of MySpace. People tend to go through the motions at such events and I am unaware of anyone actually having a good time. Not like Disneyland. At the crowded Body English, which was located downstairs at the Hard Rock, I stood in various places, danced in various places, and spent most of the time yelling at people I like.

“THAT’S SOME CLEAVAGE,” I said to one person.

“NICE PANTS,” she replied. We would have said more but we were hoarse already.

I talked with Josh of Fleshlight, the Austin-based company that puts flashlights into cyberskin penis (now vagina) replicas.

“MY BOSS’ SON MADE THE FROGS FOR ‘MAGNOLIA’,” he said. “HE DESIGNED THE FLESHLIGHTS AFTER HE MADE HIS DAD A RUBBER VAGINA WHEN HIS MOM GOT PREGNANT AT 47.”

Apparently Fleshlight’s owner was indignant that he would not be able to have sex with his wife, the future mother of healthy twins, during her pregnancy, so he sought refuge in Science.

“SO THE FROGS IN ‘MAGNOLIA’ EMPLOYED THE SAME PENIS FLASHLIGHT TECHNOLOGY?” I asked.

“YES.”

“WERE THEY MADE AT THE SAME FACTORY?” I asked.

“YES.”

As I talked with Josh, both of us were casually spilling our drinks on one of the women in the booth. This is how crowded it was. I went from booth to booth, drinking vodka with little mixers, spilling little bits on myself and others, while others spilled their drinks on me. As you know, I am a bigger sybarite than most, but this was silly.

As I walked out, I approached a group of women, who looked at me frankly. They were not with the convention. I still had my ID lanyard on. One of the women grabbed it and looked at it, then shouted something to her friends.

“WHAT JUST HAPPENED BETWEEN US?” I asked.

“NICE NAME TAG,” she said.

My name tag, turned around, read “Pussycash”.

My two biggest regrets were that I did not actually stay at the Hard Rock, so an Internet connection was hard to come by, and that I hadn’t brought a bathing suit. I could as easily have jumped in a microwave to cool off.


For me the high point of the convention was to be a seminar delivered by XBiz staff on how to write press releases. As a person who reads press releases from porn companies every day, I am indeed blessed that I have a job where I can say whatever I like about them. Employees of trade publications have no such luxury.

So I was looking forward to how writer Anne Winter and the rest of the XBiz team were going to handle the words of current and future porn publicists, and I fully expected them to use examples from life, but they did not take the bait.

Instead, their version of a bad press release was written from scratch. I have to say it was better than some I’ve received. I asked XBiz publisher Tom Hymes why there weren’t any real-life examples.

“There’s so many that it would have been unfair to narrow it to just one,” he said.

“Plus {name withheld} would have tried to capitalize on it,” Winter said.

I suggested to XBizVideo editor Steve Javors that telling publicists how to write press releases for your own magazine was like telling your girlfriend how to give you a blowjob. It is self-preserving.

“That is apt,” he said.

I could not imagine AVN’s editorial staff delivering a lecture on how to write press releases. Not that they are not as plagued, if not more so, with bad press releases as XBiz, but their own bitterness and regret is augmented with a certain resignation.

It was also noteworthy to see that there was no coverage of the XBiz Forum on AVN whereas there has been plenty of advertising for AVN events like Internext and Erotica LA in the pages of XBiz. The only AVN employees I saw at XBiz were members of its sales team, probably keeping tabs on the tenuous affections of its advertisers.

This is unfortunate. Both of those media entities need the other, and officially pretending the other is not there is useless other than to look bad.

For an idea on how far there is to go, I will leave you with a quote from an XBiz story on its Forum.

“The show’s good. I always come to Vegas for the XBIZ show,” Python Cash’s Derrick Bronco said. “The basis for me is seeing people I already know and solidifying those relationships better.”

Next year’s Summer Forum should, in addition to being held no earlier than September 20, feature a seminar on how to give statements to press, if for no other reason than to solidify speaking better.

Previously: Products for your down under from down under
See also: XBiz Summer Forum

New copy of XBiz World contains mousepad

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Adult industry trade journal XBizWorld this month included a mousepad with its 130-page magazine, confusing a number of subscribers.

“I don’t know what kind of message they’re trying to send,” said Porfirio B. of GoateeCash, the pornography business’ most popular affiliate program.

“Am I supposed to read the magazine or scan it into my computer and then read it on my computer?”

The adult industry is contending with a steep drop in DVD sales, and ad rates for its print publications are falling. XBiz employees say that including the mousepad was a means of recognizing that people who read often use their computers, too.

“We really need to get to all aspects of the marketplace,” publisher Tom Hymes said, but not in relation to this story.

But some people feel that a mousepad in the age of optical mice, smartphones, and Nintendo’s Wii are an anchor in the past, or worse, a piece of swag cluttering up the office that it didn’t cost the company any extra to ship.

“Will I get an 8-track player in the next issue? How about a 3/4″ floppy drive? I’m surprised I didn’t get a PS/2 mouse in there. What are they, cheap?” groused Loup Perch-Tounge, spokesman for the Canoga Park Gaping Commission, an industry think tank.

“No, we’re just – What? Jesus. We just thought it would be a good idea to include a frigging mousepad,” a source within XBiz claimed. “(The mousepad) was free. Why don’t you start a {expletive deleted} thread on (adult industry chatboard] GFY about it?”

XBizWorld often depicts adult industry personalities in full-page ads reading the magazine, as if to say “Adult industry personalities can read”. This month’s XBizWorld features America’s Beloved Porn Journalist, Gram Ponante, striking a thoughtful pose with the new mousepad.

“Whenever I’m not saying whatever I want with impunity or getting in street brawls,” Ponante said, “I usually have other people type for me. Still, (the mousepad is) a nice shade of blue, and if you light it on fire, it sort of smells like the City of Industry.”

Previously: XBiz relaunch: Something about Statue of Liberty, Van Halen; Rotten, “Too Close for Comfort” star rift worsens; XFanz to stage erotica festival, perhaps erotically
See also: XBiz

XBiz relaunch: Something about Statue of Liberty, David Lee Roth

As you well know, I should be the last person consulted about adult website design (because a world in which someone would ask me about website design means one in which Lurk Ford, Rock and Roll Gene Ross, Mike South, Tod Hunter, and everyone on MySpace are already dead) but I feel XBiz is mixing messages in its relaunch campaign, which incorporates a French-made statue, a Van Halen song, and Marvel Comics typesetting, none of which shouts “porn” to me (unless new XBiz publisher Tom Hymes’ bold new vision involves an Ellis Island torch-fisting scene for Spiderman).

Regardless, XBiz tersely rejected my substitute submission, which I felt incorporated some of its core themes.

Oh well. I hear AVN is going with the Powerpuff Girls and Motorhead.

Previously: Trade mags preparing site relaunches; Adult industry to sic itself on bad grammar; XFanz to stage erotica festival, perhaps erotically
See also: XBiz

Trade mags preparing site relaunches

Because no one likes the old and used, both of the adult business’ trade publications have spent the Spring rolling their new websites to the launchpad.

AVN has been tinkering with its design for at least six months, and XBiz is reportedly planning a relaunch within the next few weeks.

Both sites currently look similar; this is understandable because both are drawing from the same well of advertisers and press releases in a very small industry.

Both sites have a lead story with a graphic (AVN’s pops more) topping four smaller stories with graphics. The graphics for AVN’s second-tier stories are mashed together while XBiz puts spaces between theirs, like Belladonna’s teeth. I love Belladonna.

AVN is doubly-NSFW because it runs Flash movie clips that start upon the load of the page. Visitors must be quick on the draw else coworkers will discover their dirty secret. XBiz does not have this feature, though its daughter site, XFanz, runs surfer-controlled movie clips.

Until recently, XBiz’ site was very busy with affiliate program ads; that has died down, mercifully, though the site scrolls beyond the level of comfort. AVN’s site is compact.

It will be interesting to see what both sides do; XBiz is currently beating AVN in Alexa ratings, and XFanz looks much better than apples-to-oranges AVN consumer site AVNInsider*. It would be smart to build more interactivity into AVN’s site and maybe blend XFanz into XBiz.

XBiz is the employer of a lot of people who used to work at AVN and therefore benefits from some institutional knowledge (all perfectly legal, of course) about the industry giant. AVN is now in its third decade of operation and benefits from a solid foundation of experience with the adult industry. AVN also has a record of hiring people who are porn fans, for better or worse.

My impression of AVN is that people like founder Paul Fishbein, early editor Gene Ross (who is no longer there), and Senior Editor Mark Kernes, all of whom were with the publication since the 1980s, like (or liked) porn and wanted to make a business out of covering it.

I feel about XBiz that founder Alec Helmy thought that porn would be a good vehicle for his business goals. It is a subtle distinction. Both philosophies work, and filter through the complicated hierarchies of both companies. Both philosophies are reflected in the editorial styles of the publications.

How is a company’s philosophy about porn manifested in its website design? Fucked if I know. If one took that approach, my philosophy about porn would be that it is sloppy and tinged with Verdana.

My role in keeping both publications afloat is that I write a blog for XBiz and I drink with AVN’s editorial staff. I can do no more to keep these gargantuans from tearing each other – and this very industry – asunder.

*AVNInsider.com currently redirects to AVN.com

Vivid remakes The Money Shot

Six years in the wake of the AVN-financed web series The Money Shot, about the inner workings of a Porn Valley trade magazine, AVN financier Vivid is releasing Layout, about the inner workings of a Porn Valley trade magazine.

The Money Shot, about the day to day operations of the Blue Movie Guide (BMG), drew close parallels to Paul Fishbein and Mark Kernes. It starred Bryn Pryor, who just picked up a Best Actor in a Non-Sex Role at this year’s AVN Awards for Corruption. He is also known as Eli Cross, who won the Best Director Award for that movie.

The Money Shot
features cameos from Asia Carrera, Chloe, and Nicki Fritz. Above everything else, it is an excellent picture of Porn Valley in the early part of this century.

Layout was directed by Paul Thomas and stars Brianna Banks, Penny Flame, and Kylie Ireland, as well as Tom Byron and Tyce Bune. Vivid’s PR says that “any resemblance to AVN is purely intentional.”

Will AVN now get a Showtime series, too?

Previously: Vivid does Kim…again, Happy Birthday, Paul Thomas; Eon McKai and the elephant in the room
See also: The Money Shot, Vivid

XBiz launches ’07 Forum, drinks

I stood on the lobby balcony of the Roosevelt Hotel and asked the following question:

“Who in this room will benefit from the creation of a .xxx domain?”

Silence.

“I know I will,” I continued. “I’m going to make a billion dollars.”

This loosened people up a little. There’s nothing that inspires webmasters more than a gauntlet being thrown down and, since I made my statement via my Blackberry on a messageboard, everyone responded immediately.

“I will you jackass (emoticon with middle finger up),” someone said.

“I have more traffic than Jesus you jackass (emoticon of figure humping another figure),” cried another, brandishing a weapon in his signature.

“Your so OWNED LOLROTFLMAOGAPE you jackass (emoticon of an animated .gif being swallowed by a SQL server),” declared another, adding “I can get your credit rating slashed.”

“I will,” said the ghost of Marilyn Monroe.

In a nutshell, foes of the proposed .xxx domain extension feel that such a classification will not only ghettoize adult content but also make it easier for that part of the web to be shut down for trumped up reasons, like bird flu. Furthermore, they feel that children will not be protected from porn by .xxx, as proponents – chief among them a British citizen named Stuart Lawley – suggest. Finally, detractors wonder who in the adult business might financially benefit from a portion of each .xxx domain sold by Lawley’s ICM Registry.

AVN has withdrawn its support for .xxx and so, to a lesser degree, has XBiz. Lawley will be a featured speaker at XBiz’ Forum today.

Other sites have much more background on this latest battle for porn’s soul, filled with name-calling and smugness. People are shocked – shocked – by the idea that money might be going into someone else’s pocket over this issue.

As I learned in prison, anyone who takes a little cash on the side might also sell a brother out (full disclosure: I was the shabbas goy at a reformed women’s detention center, providing conjugal visits for single felons for a small corkage fee).


I cannot stand behind the ICM registry because it uses photos licensed from some stock image outlet to represent its employees.

Very few porn stars attended last night’s party; it was mostly Internet types, and I recognized very few of them. Three people from gay company NakedSword – two men and a woman – shared a bathroom stall next to me and weren’t quiet about it.

“Parade your freakish sexuality somewhere else!” I exclaimed, absently stuffing a midget into a hooker’s ass.


I saw Casey Parker when I’d had a few drinks in me. It would have even been nice sober. I like that Casey Parker. I hope she moves away from the San Fernando Valley and stars in a nude frolic movie called Casey Parker Goes to Puerto Rico being released next month.

“This is me trying to be sexy,” she said.

“You’re sexy no matter what,” I said, pulling a midget out of her ass.

I encountered the British Martina Warren, right, married to a Dubliner with the first name of Warren.


“I took his first name for my last name,” she explained.

“Go parade your freakish sexu – ! Oh forget it.”

Warren was with Nikki Kane, whose website states she is 19. There’s a chance she’s older. Both were pleasant.


Because I am a chameleon, I began to adapt to my new surroundings. I am not really used to the Internet side of the porn industry which, despite XBiz’ efforts in the video arena, was much more in evidence at last night’s party. So I took a picture of Internet Superstar Halcyon Styn and Mr. Skin‘s marketing genius, Derek Meklir. Note that I identified them in the party photos.

The vibe was different from AVN parties. I got no blowjob in the bathroom but I did get a couple of offers of competitive revshares. It’s a tossup. The industry is changing.

Previously: Gram Ponante steps up viral marketing; The X(Biz) Files: FBI to address porners; XFanz porns burlesque; XBizVideo launch party: Classy, non-violent