Nina Hartley’s Guide to Female Ejaculation

Studio: Adam & Eve
Director: Ernest Greene
Cast: Hartley, Mika Tan, Anna Mills, Angela Stone, Trent Solauri

Until Nina Hartley threw her two cents in, I used to look no further than Bill Moyers’ exhaustive 10-part documentary on the subject when I sought to understand female ejaculation. With trusty sidekick Mika Tan filling in for Joseph Campbell, Hartley explains the psychological, biological, and commercial reasons for squirting, reassuring her audience several times that it’s not just pee.

I don’t know if she owes anyone money, but aside from that possibility it is impossible not to like Nina Hartley. She is warm, kind, amiable, and knows her stuff. She also demonstrates on live, naked porn stars how to make a woman ejaculate.

Hartley’s various How To series for Adam & Eve are long on the theory but don’t skimp on the application. She explained the ins and outs of female ejaculation, admitting that she herself has never done it. “Ejaculation is something females can experience easily, occasionally, or never,” she says a little ruefully, noting that the distance between the G-spot and the urethra can be a deciding factor in whether or not a woman can pull it off, as it were.

Hartley demonstrated on the always-game Mika Tan (and later on Anna Mills, much more graphically and with a vertical speculum) just where everything was, providing an engaging lecture with plenty of visual aids.

That women can have harmless retrograde ejaculations that send fluid back toward the bladder; that female ejaculation requires both the pelvis and the G-spot to work in concert; and that ejaculation is not necessarily orgasm were all news to my viewing partner. I of course nodded “Yes, yes obviously” to each factoid because I’m, like, so an expert on the topic.

Now and then the banter between Hartley and her subjects was only a little better than awards-show patter. In the film’s only honest-to-God porn scene, Angela Stone and Trent Solauri have the following dialogue before she demonstrates a squirt brought on the old-fashioned way:

Solauri: Am I too early?

(beat)

Stone: You’re right on time.

(pause)

Solauri: Should I have brought my galoshes?

(silence)

Stone: Very funny.

In Mills and Stone, Hartley and partner/director Ernest Greene have found two women for whom ejaculation is easy. Hartley repeats that not every woman has that ability, thus easing the minds of people confused by the porn world’s recent interest in squirting as a result of gushing virtuousos like Cytherea and Tiana Lynn.

Hartley says that one can’t be demure and ladylike while soaking the sheets, so why bother worrying? The movie is just as much about the mechanics of squirting as it is about relieving oneself of the pressure to do so.

Watching Mills ejaculate, as Tan remarked, “under laboratory conditions” and Stone squirt “in the field” with Solauri is much more of a revelation after Hartley has explained the procedure.

I have watched instructional videos for everything from Microsoft Access to Microsoft Visio, and Nina Hartley’s Guide to Female Ejaculation is by far the best one. And will no doubt prove to be the most useful.