Of the thousands of awards AVN will be presenting at its annual honors January 12, none is so prestigious as its Performer in a Non-Sex Role trophy. When a viewer expects to see penetration, gaping, and creampies, there is nothing more provocative than someone in a porn film placed there to move the story along.
Because I was not even nominated for my own brilliant non-sex performances in 2005’s Jack’s Playground 27 (buy), 2006’s Barbed Wire Kiss (buy), and last year’s Cuckold 2, I have that much more admiration for someone who actually scores a nod. I talked with Rory Zacher who, as Johnny Lightning, was nominated for his performance as a weasely director in Spunk’d.
Read more about how I managed to not use the word “movie” after the gap.
GP: How did you hear about the project?
RZ: I got the Spunk’d gig from when I was an agent at Lighthouse (Talent Management), and (Spunk’d director) Justin (Kane) called the agency to book a few girls. I asked about the project and he said was going to be a parody of the MTV show Punk’d. I told him that I was a cast member of one of the seasons of Punk’d and I was one of the people who played the jokes on the celebrities.. He said that I had to be in his movie, and he gave me the part of the director in the “Grundle’s Anatomy” segment. It was really cool and he let me improvise which is one of my favorite things to do, and he seemed to get a positive reaction to my acting, and encouraged me to do whatever I wanted. Justin was a great director, and I had a great time on the set.
Justin Kane: He is a fantastic actor, so I really didn’t need to give him more direction than the initial “you’re a cocky, flashy guest director on a TV show,” along with his lines and the script.
As artists, we are most often concerned with a winged thing called Motivation. Motivation is what we seek when we first seek to inhabit a role and make it ours, trying to convey its complexity to viewers.
One of Rory’s improvised lines in Spunk’d was, “You all smell because You’re the Shit.”
GP: Though Spunk’d is erroneously described as an original rather than an adapted screenplay AVN is loathe to add extra categories for fear of appearing to be pandering), you were fortunate to have worked with the source material before.
RZ: Being on Punk’d was amazing.. It was so cool to see how they went about trying to punk the celebrities and be a part of the action. I got to play an asshole waiter, a cop, a sleazy guy who gets thrown into the pool of a very posh hotel in LA, etc. The celebrities were very gracious and nice, although when we punk’d Chris Brown the singer, he wanted to punch me in the segment, but afterwards, he was a cool kid. I also freaked Kate Beckinsale out so much when I played a sleazy guy hitting on her, that she thought I was going to kill her. One big thing on the show is that it is good to have a very strong improvisation background because on the show, you only have two rehearsals without the celebrity, and when they arrive, you have only one chance to get it right otherwise (the celebrities) will figure it out, and you have ruined the segment and everyone’s day, not to mention all the money they have spent on locations, crew, etc.
Several other actors are nominated for the Non-Sex award, including the great Bill Margold, probably the only genius we have left.
GP: To further prepare for your first porn role, did you screen the work of any of the other nominees?
RZ: I have not seen the work of the other nominees, and truthfully, I think it is time Ron Jeremy, Bill Margold, and everyone else pass the torch to me. I think this award should not be based on popularity and should be based on the talent involved and the way they performed. People have told me that I am their favorite part of the movie, and that I was the funniest part of it, and I think the voters should take that into consideration and give the award to the most talented, and not to the most recognizable name on the ballot.
Further proof of the non-existence of God was confirmed when the skies did not open up and rain fire on Zacher for implying someone could be more talented than Bill Margold.
GP: If you get the trophy for this piece, will it be a feather in your cap? Or will you be horribly ashamed?
RZ: I love being nominated for Best Non-Sex performance, and yes it did make me giddy to see my name on the nominee list. Justin said he submitted me, but you never believe it until you see it.
GP: Directors in this town can’t build up our hopes half as fast as they can crush them. I am glad Kane didn’t ruin your dreams.
RZ: And yes, if I win, I will have my friends all announce me as “This is my friend, AVN Award winning Best Non-Sex actor Rory Zacher AKA Johnny Lightning.” I might just bring it with me wherever I go from now on, have people take pictures with it and stuff.
GP: Are you a member of any Indian nation or repressed ethnic minority and do you see this nomination as their victory
RZ: I am not a member of any Indian nation, but as a member of the Jewish faith, I look at this award as proof that a jewish kid from the Chicago suburbs can accomplish anything. However, I don’t think this award will help my chances of being “Distinguished Alumnus” at my old high school’s end of the year Awards Ceremony.
GP: Whatever happens, your Instrument’s Interpretation was a credit to the Craft.
Previously: 2007: The year Spunk’d broke
See also: Spunk’d
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