Press release of the week: Miso Ghetto

I am delighted that the porn company DVSX still exists because it has some of the best press releases since the early days of porn luminary Steve Banan.

In the case of their latest offering Miso Ghetto, remember that “ghetto” is in this context an adjective. Also note the choice of font for the word “ghetto” and how its color matches the paint on the lowrider. Smart!

Here in Los Angeles, the lowrider is more closely associated with the barrio than the ghetto and, if you ask me, these ladies don’t look particularly ghetto, what with their not toting handguns or being pregnant, but you have to give them credit for kneeling on Crenshaw Blvd. like that.

DVSX Breaks Out the Chopsticks for Miso Ghetto
Chatsworth, CA

DVSX has rolled out a new hardcore Black on Asian line appropriately entitled Miso Ghetto. These Asian girls have big Black cock on their mind and can’t get it out of their heads—they’re horny and beyond ghetto. Miso Ghetto stars Sasha Hollander, who opens the movie naked with sushi on her back, along with Asian-American dolls, Lana Croft, Nyomi Zen, Lena Lang and Taj Malai. Lana Croft literally sizzles and is ready for action in her see-through pink babydoll dress, white bobby socks and stripper heels—while she’s being interviewed before the action’s rolling, the director is having a hard time not having his way with her.

“This movie has some the hottest sex I’ve seen in awhile,” says Vice President of Sales, Michelle Liss. “The title says it all. Fans of beautiful Asian women will definitely enjoy it.”

I was a consultant in the early stages of this press campaign and I admit my efforts were rejected and smoothed over. Here is the original:

Miso Ghetto Pairs Non-Caucasians, Non-Caucasians, Maybe Arabs
Chatsworth, CA

DVSX has rolled out a new hardcore Black on Asian line appropriately entitled Miso Ghetto. “We at DVSX really strive to name our titles appropriately,” a spokesperson said, “and you can see that we have here as well. It’s important we let you know that we think about our titles before we name them, and tell you in the first paragraph that we think we did it right this time. Good for us.”

These Asian girls have big Black cock on their mind and can’t get it out of their minds—I mean it’s really in there, you know? In their mind? They’re horny and beyond ghetto. I went to Bryn Mawr so I don’t really know what “ghetto” means, but I’m kind of hoping that if I say “beyond ghetto” people will be so complacent as to not question me. If I don’t know what ghetto means, how can you know what that area is beyond it? That’s my plan.

Miso Ghetto stars Sasha Hollander, who opens the movie naked with sushi on her back, which is good because you wouldn’t want rice to get on her shirt, along with Asian-American dolls, Lana Croft, Nyomi Zen, Lena Lang and Taj Malai. Lana Croft literally sizzles and is ready for action in her see-through pink babydoll dress, white bobby socks and stripper heels—while she’s being interviewed before the action’s rolling, the director is having a hard time not having his way with her.

Yes, it’s awesome that the director didn’t rape her while she was on fire. That’s our commitment to quality.

“This movie has some the hottest sex I’ve seen in awhile,” says Vice President of Sales, Michelle Liss, perching her chin on the steeple of her fingers, deep in thought. “The title says it all, even though we’re not sure what it means. Irregardless, fans of beautiful Asian women will definitely enjoy it.”

The movie arrives on September 30, just in time to be nominated for AVN’s liner notes award.

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Previously: Draft Konnie and the Sardo’s waitresses
See also: DVSX

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Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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