Cody Lane presents a unique challenge for tacticians in Red Light District’s Assault That Ass 11. While her ass is only minimally fortified, her high heels tottery, and as she is facing an incline (but looking back), it would appear that her ass is a target that will quickly fall, as outlined in Sun Tzu’s “Art of War”.
“When doing battle, seek a quick victory,” writes Tzu, and indeed, victory seems imminent despite Lane’s defiant air. “A protracted battle will blunt weapons and dampen ardor.”
But Lane is also protected by a railing as well as a spiral staircase. Assault by land, which is preferable, would require attackers to change direction several times. Air ass assault forces would first have to clear that railing.
Lane is doing something that both my cats and Tzu call “presenting”. Tzu believes that if one’s enemy invites aggression, the enemy must be at an advantage, perhaps even with shotguns in their nipples.
“If the enemy is far away and challenges you to do battle,” Tzu writes, “he wants you to advance, because he occupies level ground that is to his advantage.”
Something between you and Lane undoubtedly lies in wait to thwart you. It might be slippery ass juice or her dad, boyfriend, or agent. Sun Tzu says nothing about jealousy in his 2500-year-old text, but Chinese literature is clear when it warns: “Beware the form the pimp has taken.”
Assault That Ass 11 is also an assault on the tattoo. Note Lane’s tattoo in the original picture and how it has been airbrushed away for the boxcover.
“I don’t care if she has a tattoo, vitaligo, or burns over 30 percent of her body,” Sun Tzu didn’t say when contacted. “I’d hit that even if I were standing in a swamp without proper defillade.”
Previously: Anal title 60 percent short of ass; Make love to my ass; MILF, ass definitions continue to evolve
See also: Sun Tzu on The Art of War; Red Light District
Cody is standing on what Sun Tzu calls hemmed-in ground, or ground which is reached through narrow gorges, and from which we can only retire by tortuous paths, so that a small number of the enemy would suffice to crush a large body of our men. In hemmed-in situations, you must resort to stratagem – What is at the top of the stairs? Can we divide our forces and mount an assault from the top of the stairs – flash forth from the topmost heights of heaven – to distract her while we assault that ass?
Are our numbers equal? It is the rule in war, if our forces are ten to the enemy’s one, to surround her; if five to one, to attack her; if twice as numerous, to divide our army into two. Is this a gangbang situation? Can we assault that ass with overwhelming forces?
On the other hand, he says do not climb heights in order to fight. So much for mountain warfare. Can we talk her down? Hold out specious allurements?
Overall, Sun-Tzu tells us that supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting. Maybe if we offer her another hundred dollars.