This is a tough business. It is tough because it is often tedious, even as those who don’t get porn for free and who don’t get paid to have sex are reasonably jealous of the people who do.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think the grass is greener selling overpriced boba drinks to people with Bluetooth headsets, but one’s heart can’t be in any job 100 percent of the time.
Above, we see a still from Ethnicity Films’ Craving Chocolate (it’s an interracial title, not a plumper title) featuring Gabriela Banks and Byron Long. In porn terms, a still is a posed shot that is snapped after the action it depicts has taken place. So Banks and Long recreated this pose for the still photographer.
I have met Banks and she seems like a lovely person. But the difference in enthusiasm level between the live shots and the posed shots is striking. They reveal an interior monologue that can only be imagined. I have tried to recreate that interior monologue below.
“Turkey, ham, some Fruit Roll-Ups, 1 percent milk. 2 percent? Should I get 2 percent? If they only have 2 percent I’ll buy it. But not skim. That stuff tastes like ass. Hey! I’m being fucked in the ass!”
“I can tell they only put one coat of paint there by the baseboards. If you look really closely you can see that it’s not as solid as up by the window. They should really put some low tables there to draw the eye away. It looks kind of bad because the paint layers should be consistent throughout. Now one layer abuts two layers. I wouldn’t do – Hey! I’m getting fucked in the butt!”
“I’m a leopard stalking my prey on the dusty veldt. Is a veldt dusty? Do leopards live there? I just saw ‘veldt’ in a magazine. Was it at the dentist’s? Jesus Christ, that hygienist was thorough. I don’t think I’ve had a cleaning that comprehensive in five years. My gums hurt. I should really make a commitment to flossing. I hate people who just floss in front of you. That’s such a Hollywood thing to do. Those people are vain and anal. Hey! …”
Previously: Holliday at the Car Wash; Reverse Bukkake 2; Opportunity Cucks (fleshbot)
See also: Metro
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