Chloe James didn't see me there

Chloe James was tiptoeing across the apartment furniture in nothing but a pair of mesh hose. Little did she know that I was under a chair.

“I just need a place to think,” I said.

I get regular updates of which porn performers are available for booking, who is in town, and who is new (and I really should do more with this information), but a set of photos of the 23-year-old, hundred-pound James really impressed me.

The virginal James (after all, she only has sex with women on film and only engages in light bondage) stands 5’3″ in bare feet and one of her talents, it says here, is camel toe.

As you well know, anyone with labia can pull off a camel toe – it just takes the will – but apparently James can do it really well. I would like to see this, but I’m under the impression that women don’t understand the appeal of a camel toe, so on a girls-only performer the skill is lost. It’s like walking into my house and saying “I’ve got some lobsters in my truck” and I’d be all like, “but I don’t eat lobsters. You know I don’t eat lobsters.”