Cum-Drunk Love, or Curses, Foiled Again

Colossal Entertainment has released Drunk on Cum in distinctive foiled packaging with a brand new Cum font.

I believe it was the great Thomas Jefferson who said that he might not be turned on by a woman drinking semen from something other than the two standard receptacles (the source and off her philtrum), but he would fight to the death for your right to be turned on by it.

The whole “spoon fed” cum (movement?) and its worthy successors, including the likes of Eve Lawrence, Hailey Paige, Samantha, Barbara, and Tyla Wynn slurping sperm from margarita glasses, creep me out only in a logistical sense.

It’s like when you try to serve McDonald’s french fries in anything other than the original container. They are as cold and jellied as anything that came back from the Pet Sematary.

I am not saying that Eve Lawrence, Hailey Paige, Samantha, Barbara, and Tyla Wynn are the Undead, by the way. I’m just saying Why buy the champagne glass if you’re so close to the cow? Or something.

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Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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