Indulge the Leviathan in your pants by purchasing Doc Johnson’s new Enspiral Vibrating Love Glove, sure to bring a little bit of the underworld to your masturbating experience.
GramPonante.com’s roving reporter, Pamtrona Eng, interviewed a group of Cenobites hanging out by Home Depot.
PE: Laslo, you are the eyes-sewn-shut underling of the Lament Configuration and now I am your publicist. Why are Doc Johnson’s products so popular wth demons?
Pinhead: I’ll take that question, Pamtrona. It is not the Enspiral Vibrating Love Glove that calls us: it is desire.
PE: So Doc Johnson only facillitates your sexual pleasure, rather than substitutes for it?
Pinhead: Yes, Pamtrona. That is the healthiest thing. I merely use these devices when The Female is not present, to stir my horrible wanting of her.
PE: Thank you.
Pinhead: Peace out.
Use Doc Johnson’s products or your suffering will be legendary – even in Hell.
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist
