As the adult industry adapts to a changing economy it also continues to evolve. Nowhere was porn’s dedication to the new sexual aesthetic more apparent than at this weekend’s Erotica L.A., in which fans in and out of wheelchairs sampled the erotic future of 22″ rims, glass bongs, and scented candles.
And, in a tribute to erotica of the past, porn stars like Jesse Jane, Kimberly Kane, and Sunny Lane acknowledged the quaint fascination some people still have with naked women, like Tera Patrick.
Just as Apple will unveil new products at its annual convention, Mac Expo, Erotica L.A. was the place where the world first got to see the Nut Rag.
“It’s a towel you jerk off into,” explained someone wandering by the unattended table. “And the towel has all sorts of euphemisms printed on it for jerking off. Get it? GET IT???“
The annual three-day event was, as usual, a more intimate affair than the sensory overload that is the Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas. The majority of attendees appeared to be from Los Angeles, as 90 percent of them were wearing Lakers-branded clothing. They milled through aisles lined with booths selling lingerie, naughty chocolates, male enhancement products, and Motorhead paraphernalia, and all seemed to be in good spirits.
Touching Stories
Dominatrix Natali Demore was scared the first time a man asked her to kick him in the nuts. I was scared just thinking about it. “So I kicked him gently at first,” she said, “but then he asked me to do it harder and I really let him have it.”
“What sort of shoes were you wearing?” I probed.
“Heavy ones,” she said.
Adult conventions welcome the differently-abled in a way the narrow aisles of Trader Joe’s doesn’t. There were a lot of familiar faces among the wheeled set and one guy, a paraplegic who went by the handle Big Daddy, approached Ava Rose and Bree Olson for a picture and they proceeded to get all over him, giving new meaning to the term handicapped accessible. “I know him from my MySpace page,” said Rose. “He’s sweet.” Next time I go to an adult convention, I’m rolling up in my iron lung.
Backstage at the FAME Awards, long known as the White Urban Spice Awards, Nicki Hunter interviewed attendees for the Internet station Rude TV, which is probably the only TV network that incorporates a couple of angry sperm in its logo. A delicious Sophia Santi and Penny Flame dropped by, and onlookers were treated to Flame’s capering. Where I come from, we would call Flame a hot shit. (Somehow typing those words doesn’t convey the affection that endearment represents).
“You fucked me,” stormed a starlet at a FAME Awards organizer as he followed her through the backstage area. “You fucked me!” In that there were plenty of people around, I can only assume we were all meant to hear this exchange. “Fucked” in this case meant “disappointed.”
“I hate these things,” said Jenna Haze in the media room as she submitted to more pictures, and tried to leave. “But you need to do some soundbites!” she was told. “Nope,” she said. “I’m leaving.” Good for you, Jenna.
Jenny Hendrix was brunette. I didn’t recognize her. I hadn’t seen her in a while, and we had once been so close. “I’m taking it easy until my contract with (talent agency) L.A. Direct runs out on July 5,” she said. “I’m not hurting for money.”
“In that case,” I said. “Give me ten million dollars.”
“Is this your first Erotica L.A.?” I asked.
“No,” the 22-year-old said. “I’ve been to three of them. I’m old.”
Some day I’ll be 22. I hope I don’t feel that way then.
Justine Joli and Kimberly Kane shared a booth as well as a penchant for alphabetically sequential alliteration. “You should do a movie with LL Cool J,” I said, and regretted it even before I’d finished saying it. But you really could go through most of the alphabet with alliterative porn names. Heather Vandeven was also there, promoting her new site, myheathervandeven.com. If only. The three have the same webmistress.
Angie Savage introduced me to her friend Mia Presley. I like that they are friends; it makes me think the world will be better.
Satine Phoenix stayed for the FAME Awards’ red carpet but didn’t attend the show. She had places to go. I wanted to set up a barbecue in the back to compel her to stay, but it wasn’t to be.
Ava Rose was half barefoot. Some day the other shoe will drop.
“I need to get my girls through,” said publicist Adella O’Neal of Digital Playground, shepherding a gaggle of contract girls to the front of the red carpet line. “I want to see Stoya!” said Roxy Deville. Me, too, Roxy. But Stoya should also see you.
Aiden Starr was in a cowboy hat. She doesn’t know why either.
“The last time I saw the two of you, you were naked on skates,” I said to Sunny Lane and Bree Olson. Such a creepy thing to say, I thought. And yet it was true, and I said it. They didn’t seem to mind. If they are reading this, they are free to say inappropriate things to me at any time. Seriously: any time.
Notable Products And Services
Little Fetish Fairy (littlefetishfairy.com)- This Orange County-based clothing line has been marketed to the discreet woman who is alarmed by aggressive BDSM gear and wants to appear feminine and willing but not be too in your face about it. It’s a delicate balance.
The Pink Cross (thepinkcross.org) – Another organization renting space within an adult convention that seeks to liberate people from the adult indistry. They hand out a pamphlet with the testimonials of Sierra Sinn, Jersey Jaxin, and Becca Bratt detailing the horros of the adult industry. “We don’t have anything to do with XXX Church or JC’s Girls,” said a spokesperson for the Bakersfield, CA-based ministry. “We provide hope for porn stars and porn addicts.”
The Chocolate Walrus – “Come and get a piece of ass!” I was told. “Come and get a pussy on a stick!” Naturally I assume this meant the Tijuana Chamber of Commerce had a booth, but I was pleasantly surprised to be given a chocolate ass. This Reno company sells sex toys and chocolate confections next door to the family-oriented chocolate store that manufactures its confectionary penises on the side.
Adult Decor (adultdecor.com) – Let’s say you are a swinger or are no longer dirt poor, having recently won the lottery. Then this boutique, which sells erotic statuary, is for you.
Adult Vest (adultvest.com) – This company has some money behind it, and as such it was not apparent to me what it actually did (this happens a lot in the adult business). A small firm that seeks to introduce private investors to adult companies seeking funding for expansion, Adult Vest is like a few other organizations that, in recent years, have sought to bring Wall Street ideals to porn and to bridge the gap between mainstream businesspeople and their porn counterparts. Not the place to go if you want to shooot your first porn movie and need $30k, but a place to go, in theory, if you want to sell your studio or adult trade show.
Natch Snatch (natchsnatch.com)- This Baltimore-based company makes phthalate-free sex toys that “take the tox out of your box.” Like many sex toy companies, this one grew out of a mainstream business that happened to have a lot of the necessary materials lying around, in this case: phthalate-free patches for children’s clothing.
Clitoraid (clitoraid.org) – Not, as I’d originally thought, a soft drink, but instead an organization dedicated to restoring, through surgery, clitoral sensation to women who have suffered clitoridectomies at the hands of their tribes, fathers, husbands, and even other women. A clinic for the surgery is being set up in Burkina Faso, sponsored by the Raelians, a UFO cult that has close ties to Clonaid, which two years ago claimed to have engineered a device that cloned a baby.
I was attracted to their booth by the sign “Adopt A Clitoris” and a woman in pasties, who told me all about the organization, save for the Raelians and UFO cult connection. As we talked, a couple of guys tried to get pictures of her, and she asked them to stop taking pictures unless they made a donation. They kept doing it so I blocked their cameras with my massive frame. I hope the UFOs will reward me some day.
As I was leaving on Sunday I heard a voice, a combination of Debra Winger and Valerie Harper that made me think of the movie An Officer And a Rhoda. It was Jamye Waxman talking about my frenulum in a Pleasure Chest seminar. After that conversation with Natali Demore, my testicles had not yet descended from my sternum. Waxman, as she has helped thousands before me, returned them to their natural pendularity.
The Longest Line Award goes to Belladonna, whose queue extended pretty much out the door to the Staples Center.
See the gallery here.
Previously: Erotica L.A. 2006; Erotica L.A. 2007
See also: Erotica LA
You are still the man Gram!!!
Peace. Out. slave adam