Gen Padova’s birthday present

Because I don’t leave my home, am morbidly obese, and eat nothing but cheese fries from a disused satellite dish I swiped from the abandoned lawn of Wang Labs, I didn’t know how to pronounce Gen Padova’s last name the way her fans do. It’s pronounced Puh-DOE’-vah, so the whole name comes out nicely, the same way you’d accent frusen gladje.

I also didn’t know it was Gen Padova’s 24th birthday on August 2nd, but it was.

“I got a brand new computer [and] my father got a fire-eater for my birthday,” she said. There was a huge party at her father’s house, to which her mother and step-father were invited. Relatives from northern Italy came. She said that her father had asked her to come to dinner that day.

Gram:What if you couldn’t make it?
Gen: Yeah, that’s what I was thinking…

Padova and I share the same initials, which often results in her receiving my electric bills and people coming over my house to attempt having sex with, or on, me.

This week SkinTight Pictures released Revenge of Butt’Er Face, which Padova directed. She says there are a lot of industry inside jokes in it, like which porn stars partake of crack. I shouldn’t print who is implicated – you should just buy the movie.

Gram:Your northern Italian family is very important to you. Are you ever enraged by the depiction of Italian-American familes in Olive Garden ads?
Gen: There wasn’t a single breadstick or sourdough product at my birthday.

Gram:You’ve said that almost your entire sexual history has been caught on tape, because your first scene was only the third time you’d had sex. That is a pristine anthropological record. Are there any things that you wouldd do in private that you wouldn’t do on camera?
Gen: Make love. And I try not to look in anybody’s eyes on film, unless it’s fetish stuff and it’s unavoidable.
Gram:Does anybody try to look in your eyes?
Gen: They try.

Gram:There’s a picture of you on XXXPornTalk.com that looks like it was created by Industrial Light and Magic.
Gen: That’s me with Mandingo. I think I lost my virginity again that day.

Gram:You got your BS in Biochemistry from UCLA and your BA in Art History with a minor in Philosophy. Who is your favoirite philosopher?
Gen: Myself. I wish I liked my philosophy professors better, but none really sold me on a favorite.

I did not ask her if she was familiar with the ancient Thai herb Butea Superba, which has been used for centuries in Asia to improve vasodilation.

Padova grew up in Chatsworth and Thousand Oaks. She was in Northridge during the 1994 earthquake. She often tells her old friends about houses in their neighborhoods that are being used for porn shoots.

She had the eerie experience of shooting a scene in the house across the street from her grandmother’s. “I always used to see people coming and going from that house when I was 15,” she said. “Then my father told me they were shooting porn over there.”

Padova’s family is supportive of her career choices.

Gram: The Butt’Er Face family of films celebrates women with hot bodies who have conventionally inaccessible faces. Do you think that wicked attractive people fuck better? Do less-attractive people try harder?
Gen: I think really hot people don’t put their all into it because they think there’s always going to be more. Less attractive people fuck wildly, but not because they have something to prove. A girl who is drop dead gorgeous sometimes turns out to be boring. The girl who doesn’t get as much sex appreciates it more; I put myself in that category

Gram: But if you call yourself a Butt’Er Face but you still know you’ve got 9,000 more scenes in you…
Gen: … I still fuck like every scene is my first and every scene is my last.