As you know, Mary Carey has left Kickass Pictures and has joined Legend for a multi-picture deal. This matters little to anyone, as everyone knows all the money just goes to blasting non-existent space beings out of Katie Holmes’ non-existent fetus anyway. (Don’t act like you didn’t know this.)
What is ultimately more troubling is that now Mary Carey kind of looks like everyone else. What does one gain by losing twenty pounds? I suppose it makes my schlong look bigger, but you can see that from space anyway. What I’m saying is it’s not always about me.
Please Mary Carey, abandon the porn sneer and come back to the other side, where there are lots of delicious sandwiches.
Carey will again be running for Governor of California in 2006, her handlers say. She will probably get more votes now that she is leaner and more cutthroat-looking. Gone are the days when William Howard Taft could just do solo masturbation videos from his bathtub.
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