Mini-review: Sex Slaves of Satan

Studio: VCX
Director: Satan
Cast: Desiree Cousteau, Dorothy Lemay, Serena, John Holmes, Joey Silvera, John Leslie, Jean Jennings, Tami Lee Curtis, Mary Ann Evans, Heather Ellis, Jamie Gillis

Like everyone working in the adult industry (and their mothers), I’m really into Satan. You have a Satan t-shirt, trading cards, bobblehead doll, some Satan rims, branded cereal, whatever, I’m all for it. Me and Satan, we go way back.

That is why I had to watch VCX’ Sex Slaves of Satan. You figure, Satan has a choice in sex slave, so whomever he chooses must be pretty good.

The movie starts with a comfortable old groovy film strip/American International Pictures-style flute solo, letting us know we are either in for an exploitation movie or a driver’s ed film.

Kathy defies her female handler and very soon she is put in stocks and ordered whipped by an evil doctor. With the speed at which she goes from patient to victim, I assume either a chunk of the opening was cut or this movie was always ripe for a William Goldman revision.

Similar is the transition from Kathy’s post-whipping lesbo scene with her handler to a three-way with two dudes. Where did they come from? Who knows.

I’ve only been watching porn since I got a job reviewing it, but I am reluctant to poke fun at porn bodies of the 70s and 80s with the standard hair quantity comments, but the sight of Kathy’s furry blonde bush being eaten out at this point is distracting. Compared to today’s super-smooth snatches, the hirsute parts of yesteryear seem like they present problems on the scale of de-boning a fish.

And the dicks don’t seem as hard. We know now that that is because today’s performers by and large take erection-strengthening agents, but it could be because the male talent didn’t really believe in the script.

Then the movie shifted to a bondage scene with the delicious Desiree Cousteau, though I couldn’t figure out how it fit with the story.

It was then I realized that Sex Slaves of Satan was a compilation movie with nothing at all to do with Satan.

“These are the most extreme scenes in the history of XXX,” claims the boxcover.

Yes, there are some rape and bondage scenes, but no Prince of Darkness.

Three scenes into the movie, the discovery that this was a compilation and not a feature film with a cast of dozens was an adjustment, but then things began to make a little more sense.

Then I began to realize that the good old days porn veterans talk about might have been fun off camera, but aside from history buffs and people eager to get another look at their first porn crushes (both of which groups are a significant part of the porn consumer base), this movie doesn’t hold a candle to a current, vaguely-scripted gonzo release.

While the drugs many of the performers were on in this movie affected them differently than the drugs many of today’s performers are on, there is nothing outstandingly golden about this selection of Golden Age clips; the music is murky, the lighting is dark and, save for some abusive language and the simulation of forced sex that wouldn’t fit in today’s porn milieu (although today’s porn sex can be degrading in different ways), there are few remarkable elements.

What is noteworthy is Cousteau, John Holmes in a few scenes, and the lack of surgical enhancements.

I’d argue that today’s porn is better, but only better compared to this. Then as now, porn is just a flimsy canvas for viewers to project their own fantasies on, and nostalgia is a big part of that, which is why Sex Slaves of Satan, though notably devoid of Satan in the way today’s MILFs are devoid of children, is a worthwhile movie to watch.

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Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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