I much prefer the term “Cougars” for women of a certain age (say, over 40) who appear in porn movies, because “MILFs” is so often misused if one takes the “M” literally as “Mother.”
But I’m realistic. I know that a Cougar in real life might be 40 or over, but adult industry shelf life dictates that a porn Cougar could be as young as 25. So I don’t mind a Cougar movie filled with women who just that year became eligible to rent cars.
But no one should be advertised as a MILF (or “Momma,” as in the case of this movie) unless she has actually given birth AND there is something in the movie that indicates this. Here is some award-winning dialogue I have crafted between one of Porn Valley’s resident Czech Republican male performers and his authenticated MILF scene partner.
BLUTO
I want to make sex on you. Sex on your holes.
MILF
Yeah? You want to do that?
BLUTO
Yes. In doing that I want. The sexing on you.
MILF
You want to put it in me?
BLUTO
Yeah
MILF
You do?
BLUTO
I just said “Yeah.” Do you think I find it arousing to have to repeat myself? I don’t know much English, but don’t make me say the same goddamn thing twice.
MILF
I want you to put it in my birth canal, then
BLUTO
The part your son or daughter descended from, qualifying you as a MILF?
MILF
Yes, that very part, stud
See how easy it is? Just that small amount of subtle context would prevent angry consumers from suing porn companies for breach of contract, because you know how quality-minded the adult market is.
For example, here’s Francesca Le in Red Light District’s Momma Knows Best. Not only does she not refer to her kids in the movie, but she also bites her finger as if she’s a schoolgirl.
So what is she? The mixed messages are flying fast and furious here. What must the test audiences have said?
Previously: Gram Ponante launches International MILF Registry
See also: Red Light District
bwahahahaha
Bluto? Sure, why not.
I’m right with you on the MILF thing. “Cougars” seem more apropos but, like you, I think of the typical cougar as being 40+. By contrast, I picture the typical real MILF to be old enough to have (at least) a teenage kid with horny friends. Of course, porn is where logic goes to die.
Growing up where I did, I was never attracted to any of my friends’ moms, so it wasn’t until I interviewed Jim Powers that I heard about the requirement of MILFs being women old enough to have kids whose friends thought they were attractive. I buy that, And yet I would drop that requirement in any negotiation if Big Porn would just mandate that all MILF movie actresses be actual moms.
http://gramponante.com/2007/03/milf-ass-definitions-continue-to-evolve.html
I agree. Sadly, I too was bereft of friends that had attractive mothers. Hell, I didn’t even have any attractive teachers.
I swear I was born in the wrong decade.