A world in which elective surgeries are awarded as prizes is a science fiction world, but in the same way I was not surprised when I saw a bunch of porn dudes standing in a circle and text-messaging rather than, say, playing hacky sack or bukkake-ing someone it should not be a shock that Summer Haze has begun giving out boob jobs to brand new performers in exchange for appearing in her planned porn reality show.
At last weekend’s Sex And So Much More show in Minneapolis, 21-year-old pole dancing instructor LaDonna Britt became the first recipient of Haze’s largesse. Britt is, next to Prince, Minnesota’s second African-American resident (when Morris Day visits the state it often stops traffic).
The Sex And So Much More show, which will next be staged in Denver and Phoenix, is, like porcini mushrooms, “exciting and alluring to an affluent, liberal minded audience”.
According to the rules of the contest, winners must not have appeared in any kind of filmed entertainment, including porn, and must be willing to travel to Hollywood, Florida, where the surgeries will be filmed. Accommodations, airfare, and transportation will be provided, but meals will not. Payment for appearing in the show will be in boob jobs. Boob recipients will not perform in a porn scene with Haze. They will be required to say the word “boobs”.
“Ladies are not required to partake in filming adult scenes at all, just the reality show,” said producer Nick Sabatino, who said that the surgeries will be performed by Gregory Albert, MD., P.A.
The next boob job giveaway will be this weekend at Houston’s Lonestar Pornutopia, which will feature a breast cancer fundraiser. As you know, cancer is easier to spot on larger breasts.
“We did not want to imply that breasts are merely sexual playthings,” no one connected with the contest said.
Previously: Summer Haze and the enemies of freedom; Our Gigantic Joggies, ourselves; What makes boobs real?; Our Boobies, ourselves
See also: Summer Haze, Pink Visual
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