The 2012 Ropey Volley Awards: Most Ridiculous Movie of the Year

ridiculous“Revenge of the Petites” wins the inaugural Ropey Volley Award for Most Ridiculous Movie of the Year because it even strains the credulity of porn consumers, who normally swallow anything.

This big-budget ensemble flick from AMKingdom imagines a world in which women who are only marginally shorter than their tormentors are persecuted for their height.

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Furthermore, “Petites” employs the annoyingly porny naming convention—popularized by Digital Playground—of using noms de porn as character names, which is OK if you’re Marie McCray and your character has the credible name of Marie, but not if you’re best buddy Skin Diamond (“Revenge of the Petites” is a pretty long movie, and yet not one person looked at Skin Diamond’s character to ask, “and why in fuck is your name Skin?”) or—even worse if you can believe it—teacher Talon.

I would have accepted most any kind of rivalry in this Coming of Age movie: Greeks vs. Italians, Prudes vs. Sluts, Brains vs. Jocks, Rich vs. Poor, or even Silicon-Augmented And Shaved vs. Natural And Hairy. But Tall vs. Less Tall?

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While visiting the set—Los Angeles’s famous Hamilton High School—I was told the script was 155 pages, that the actors would get residuals, and that the budget was between $75,000 and $250,000. You can decide if these data themselves are ridiculous.

“Petites” has been selling well and has netted several recent industry awards, including this one, which leads to the conclusion that there is no accounting for taste, even if there is accounting for height.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Set to screen—”Revenge of the Petites”; Beauty is only Skin Diamond

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