There’s only two ways to get into porn: a Greyhound or Craigslist.
The latter route is how you, the savvy investor, can meet your guide to the ever-changing landscape that is the adult business. Think you have the number of a company’s current publicist? Think again. Think you know the editor of an industry-leading trade publication? You don’t. Think you know a porn starlet’s real name? She never existed; she is actually made entirely of meth and yogurt.
A post in the Gigs section of Craigslist advertises someone who can smooth things out in the Valley’s dank restrooms of power. If you call, there are ten ways to make sure this guide is legit:
1. Does he know the address of Gram Ponante Towers and Aviary?
2. Does he know that what we now know as Steveporn began before 2005?
3. Can he tell you how many times Eton Avenue starts and stops?
4. Does he know which Lamplighter is the one people are referring to when they say, “I’ll see you at the Lamplighter”?
5. Can he tell you how the difference betweeen “Film” and “Video” both does and doesn’t matter?
6. Can he tell you which “media” representatives one must pay and to which one must send a contract girl?
7. Can he put the following recent tempests-in-a-teapot in chronological order?
a. Kramer
b. bloated
c. Arland
d. * “outdoor” *
e. FitM
8. Does he know where Northridge ends and Van Nuys begins?
9. Does he know what “Joone” means?
10. Does he know which Costco never runs out of bulk Baby Wipes and Red Vines?
All this stuff is good to know. If he can also give you a ride back to the Greyhound station once that Jenna chick tells you she only works with her husband and other women, well, that’s good, too.
Previously: Job opportunity; What is happening to my Teagan?
See also: Craigslist ad
that is some funny shit